Raising three children, Chani, Ben and Chamrie, was quite a challenge.  There always seemed to be more children needing my hands then I had hands available.  Ben and Chamrie were such a handful with their combined activities.  They were easy children and yet I fully understand why it is only the parents of one, two or three children who wonder how I manage with more.

My pregnancy with Chiya seemed to sneak up on me and I was delighted when I found myself expecting another baby.  At the time Neil was working for a husband and wife chiropractic team.  This was very difficult for us because the hours were so atrocious.  However, Neil learned more from John than he learned in school.

When I was 21 weeks pregnant, we found that I was already threatening premature birth and had to go down again.  By now, this was almost normal routine.  My pregnancy with Chamrie had been so easy and we hoped it would continue that way, but that has been the only pregnancy with so little a threat.

It was nearly impossible to stay down and have the three little children to care for.  Our income was limited.  We could meet all our bills but there was never a penny left over.  We reached the knowledge that we would have to speak with the bishop about our need to hire somebody to help.  We hoped for some counsel and ideas but what he presented to us was wonderful beyond what we had considered.

Another sister needed a job.  We could pay her to come with her children and help care for mine while I was bedridden.  We had the money to do that but only if we had no food expense.  So, the church helped us with food while we helped her with the cash she needed for other bills.  This arrangement was inspired, and we were so grateful for the17 weeks that we had her help.

When I was about 15 years old, I had a powerful dream where I saw myself sitting on a park bench.  A beautiful young woman was sitting next to me.  We talked about many important things of which I do not remember a single word.  Then she stood up and said it was time for her to go.  A panic came over me that I might not meet her again and I did not want her to go.

Grasping at anything to say to keep her from leaving I declared, "I don't even know who you are!"

She looked at me and in clear and convincing tones she said, "Don't you know?  I'm a daughter you haven't had yet."  With that she left and I awakened.

When I was “not dating” Neil but waiting for the right time to give him the message that I had dreamed about him, I met Neil's sister, Mary.  From the moment I saw Mary I was struck with how much that girl of my dream looked like her.  It was another spiritual push telling me that I needed to talk to Neil.

As Chiya has come to us, I find that she does not look at all like Mary.  Chamrie looks much more like Neil's side of the family.  However, there are things in Chiya's personality that cause me to remember Mary when she was a young teen.  It is more this that was familiar than the actual physical appearance.

I felt very close to the preexistence while carrying my children but even more so when I was expecting Chiya.  It was during this time that I had two very powerful dreams.  One was the dream I spoke of earlier where Ben and Chamrie were jumping into the pool and I was exhausting myself trying to rescue them one at a time.  I had awakened screaming from that dream.

The other dream was one of my most deeply moving experiences.  Circumstances leading up to this dream began before our marriage.  Many spiritual moments were involved in bringing me to the point of having this dream.

As I had mentioned in the first chapter, two years before our marriage I had the vision where I saw nine of our children.  I learned several things about these nine children including a message that there were other children not yet seen.  However, the vision created several puzzles.  My biggest puzzle though was why the youngest child, a baby girl in the arms of my oldest daughter, was crying sad tears.

I then prayed steadily for a year to understand why the baby was crying.  Then I had this intense dream that awakened me and brought me to my knees in instant prayer.  In the dream I heard this highly tender voice that said, "You are 40 now and it's time to go."

"Forty! But I want to be with my baby!"

"I know, but there is something else for you to do."

Then, unmarried, not yet a mother, this seemed like a fair mission.  The feelings were incredibly deep and beautiful.  After marriage and having children, I began to feel differently.  I wanted to stay and nurse and raise my babies.  I wanted to teach them.  I wanted more than nine children.  I began to pray and tell the Lord that I would do whatever he wanted but if possible I wanted these other things so very much.  I didn't want anybody harmed by my not leaving but I really wanted to be like my hero, Hezekiah.

Hezekiah was a king in the Old Testament.  One day the prophet of the Lord came and told him to set his house in order because he was about to die.  Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed, mightily, to the Lord.  The voice of the Lord stopped the prophet before he had left the courtyard.  He turned around and returned to Hezekiah and declared that many years had just been added to Hezekiah’s mortal life.

When I was pregnant with Chiya, I had this wonderful dream.  I dreamed that I had died and went into the temple.  There I saw a man teaching some wonderful things with an intense spirit.  It seemed by the great respect of the listeners that he must have been the Lord.  I was deeply concerned because I didn't know him.  Then off to the side I heard my name called.  I knew in that moment that the person that called my name was the Lord.  When I turned to see him, he said, "My sheep know the Shepherd's voice."  Whoever that other wonderful servant was I had known that he was not the shepherd.

I was taken into a small office.  There the Lord wrote out an extension of my mission.  After that I found myself outside the temple and standing with my Neil.  He was unaware of what I had experienced and I was angry to have to stay in mortality.  I could see the spirits entering the temple and I wanted to be back there.  Then the veil closed and I was again with my husband in joy and beside me was the young woman’s spirit of my little Chiya who was growing within me.

Then at another time my uncle, who had died, appeared and told me that he was going to do whatever the job was that I would have done.  The rest remains a mystery.

Toward the end of my pregnancy my biggest concern was that Neil would not make it home in time for the labor and birth because of patients.  So when I saw my midwife, Diane and she felt that because my blood pressure was higher than normal we should induce the labor, I quickly agreed.  I was mostly effaced, and over five centimeters dilated with fore-waters.  I felt very good about inducing especially because I could then be certain that Neil would be present.  We had felt that the baby had been trying to arrive since Friday anyway.  So, after Neil agreed we decided that night would be it.

Neil's brother Marshall and his wife Terri took the children for the night.  My friend Janette and the midwives, Diane and Barbara, arrived.  Diane broke my water about 8:30 p.m.  Absolutely nothing happened!  Neil and I went to bed at 10:30 and Diane and Barbara ran out for a quick bite of dinner.

I barely fell asleep when suddenly a loud POP awakened me!  At the same time I felt frantic movement from the baby and a contraction!  I awoke giving off a loud scream!  This was the only time I have ever screamed in labor.  I was caught completely off guard.  After the contraction ended, I hurried into the bathroom to labor on the toilet where I was most comfortable.

The time of the first contraction was exactly 11:00 p.m.  When Diane returned from dinner, she came into the bathroom to see how I was doing.  I felt glad that Neil was with me but I would have hesitated to call him home if he had been at work because the contractions were not much different from what they had been for weeks.  Indeed, they were the same quiet tightenings that I lived with throughout all of my pregnancies.  Diane asked if she could examine me and I asked if she could do it with me on the toilet, as I wasn't interested in walking anyplace.  She laughed and tried, unsuccessfully.  Finally, I agreed to move out onto the bed in the living room.

The second true contraction of that labor followed and was very strong because of my moving.    Two minutes later came the third contraction, which was the worst of all because Diane was checking me at the same time.

"Cherie, you are 8 centimeters."  With only two more centimeters to go before I should push, Neil was beside himself when I started pushing with the very next contraction.  Neil kept telling me to stop while Diane watched in awe as my baby's head crowned and eased out.

The next contraction, to everybody’s amazement, birthed our little Chiya.  The time was 11:48 p.m.  After only three contractions and two pushing contractions in a total of 48 minutes and no tears, our fifth child had arrived!  She was beautiful and healthy and I fell in love again.  For days we could only laugh and feel that she had been handed to us as a gift directly from heaven and the angels.  It was January 13, 1986 and she weighed 7 pounds 10 ounces.

When Chiya was born, I asked Neil to give me a blessing so that the placenta would come.  He thought this was rather strange as the baby had just come and we had never had problems with the placentas before.  He didn't give me the blessing.  The placenta didn't come.  My midwife did a few things to assist in the delivery of the placenta but no such luck.  I asked Neil again but by then he was showing our daughter to our other children who had returned with their aunt.  He didn't even respond to my request.  After an hour and 15 minutes with no placenta or contractions Diane was getting worried.  Finally I caught Neil's attention with a firm request that he bless me so the placenta would come.  He placed his hands upon my head and commanded, "In the name of Jesus Christ..." That was as far as he got before the placenta released and came right out.  I have never had that problem since and am thrilled to this day that I knew instantly that was exactly what would be needed.

Chiya's birth had another unusual first for our midwife.  Diane was very experienced, having delivered hundreds and hundreds of babies.  I remember her saying that she quit counting somewhere around the 2,000th delivery.  Diane often teases me about being her first to do everything.  When we measured Chiya's umbilical cord, we found it to be an incredible 36 inches long!

Chiya's birth was a miracle to me.  I have always felt this to be close to what birth will be like later when we have spirit children.  I was in the clouds for days.  Neil on the other hand was almost depressed.  He had no time to go from me being pregnant to our having a baby in arms.  He would come home from work and see me greet him at the door holding our daughter and wonder, "Whose baby is that?"

Neil and I have a very special way of laboring together.  It is deeply moving and draws us ever closer.  It is this that I teach when I teach couples about childbearing.  He missed that bond.  I, on the other hand, felt that I had delivered my daughter alone with unseen assistants.

Neil had one seriously injured patient.  He had expected her to take quite a long time just to look better, let alone feel better.  However, she healed extremely rapidly.  He sat with her and asked what she had done to heal so quickly.  She was hesitant to speak up but finally told him that it was because of a technique called NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming.  This is how we were first introduced to this study of brain language that I described in the previous chapter.

Neil arranged for me to meet this lady and we became friends right away.  She taught me about visual, auditory and feeling learners.  She taught me about goal setting.  She opened the door for me to follow the Spirit as I developed some healing methods with NLP.  She also brought a deeper pondering of the things of the Spirit than either Neil or I had considered before.

I look upon Chiya's arrival as the spiritually enhancing time.  Here it was that I learned more about visions, dreams, and seeing with spiritual eyes than at any other time.  Here it was that Neil gained a deeper understanding of priesthood blessings, how to magnify his calling, and how to be a more effective healer by the Spirit.  Here it was where Neil and I really learned how to rely upon and use each other's gifts and talents to bless our lives and the lives of those around us.  Here is where we both learned more of the Lord's deep desire and plan for the two of us to become one in all things.

During this time we learned through intense scripture study about light, about healing, about repentance and forgiveness, about the Holy Ghost thinning the veil for us.  Here is where we really began to realize that we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.  Certainly with Chiya's arrival in our lives one of the most profound changes in how we act and understand came upon us.  What a blessing that has been for us and our children!

Chiya was a quiet baby who wanted most of all to be with her mother.  She loved her siblings and yet she enjoyed her private and quiet play.  As she grew, Chiya would often be found outside, happy in her imagination.

For years there was one subject that Chiya would not allow us to speak of.  The thought of growing up and having to leave her home was too hard for her.  When the topic came up in Primary she would become sad and quiet.  We discovered how important it was to let her know that she could always stay with us.  What time and growth would bring was best left unsaid as she wanted only to be grounded within her family as a child.

It was when Chiya was nine months old that our family took a trip to Mexico and stayed two weeks.  It was while she was a baby that Ben was so sick and then healed.  It was during this time that I began to home school Chani.  It was at this time that Neil left being an associate and started his own practice.

Shortly after Chiya's first birthday I nursed her and left her in Neil's care while I went to Homemaking Night.  A few hours later I returned to a baby who was suddenly very sick.  She had come down with an instant case of pneumonia.  I had gone into her room to check on her and to nurse her again as was my custom when my babies fell asleep without me.  She was breathing with such difficulty that she was nearly grunting.  When I had left, she seemed completely healthy!  What a shock to have her so sick after only a few hours!

We called our doctor and he put her on some medications right away.  He also told us that if not for Neil's skill as a doctor he would have admitted her into the hospital.  This was the first time since our marriage excepting for childbirth that any of us had ever needed medication.  Pneumonia in our family continued year after year until we moved away from the humidity of San Diego.

When Chiya was two-and-a-half years old, I weaned her.  By then my next child had arrived and was six months old.  About a month after weaning Chiya we moved to a different, larger home.  The move was very hard on her.  She grieved for the loss of her familiar home.  I wondered if this move was for her the same as a birth might be for another child.  Chiya's birth was so easy that to her it seemed that she had not "moved" from her heavenly home to her earthly one.  It deeply saddened me that I had weaned her.  If only I had known a month earlier that we would be moving I would have continued nursing so that the transition would have been easier for her.

Chiya is my quiet one.  She is a very deep and spiritual thinker.  She rarely rocks the boat.  When Chiya was seven, Chamrie came to tell me that Chiya, "cries herself to sleep every night."   Chamrie loves the dramatic descriptions and I wondered how true it was.  This time however she was right on target.

"Chiya, what is wrong?"  I was worried and saddened that I had no idea she was hurting over something.

"Nothing."  Chiya is not only quiet but she also keeps her feelings inside.  It has always been important to slowly draw from her the things about which she needed to talk.

"Mom," Chamrie jumped in. "You promised her another lambskin two years ago, well, maybe one year ago, for her birthday and you still haven't gotten it for her."
 What!?!  Now it was time to be really shocked and horror struck I hadn't remembered.  Suddenly though, the memory of that promise when money was scarce came flooding back into my mind.  I held my daughter and whispered, "Chiya, why didn't you say anything?"

With total trust and faith in her voice she replied, "I knew you would get it when we had the money. So I was just waiting."

What other child would just wait, silently?  We bought the lambskin immediately.

Chamrie knew about Chiya's pain because they share a bedroom. I feel very strongly about my children sharing rooms.  There is a certain amount of struggle in that arrangement but there is also companionship that helps in the dark of night.

Sharing a room creates the unique struggle of trying to get along with another person's mess and methods of organization.  It is far more realistic to teach children to get along in a room then to give each their own room.  Once married there is always somebody sharing your space.

Once, I set up the work routine to have Chamrie vacuum the bedroom on Monday, Friday and Saturday while Chiya did it on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.  Other than that requirement, I let them work out the cleaning if it got accomplished.

One day Chiya was frustrated with Chamrie not doing her part.  I suggested that we have one of them do the whole job and then the other do it on the next day.

"Mom." Chiya very kindly explained, "When I have to clean, I have to put away Chamrie's clothes.  When it is her turn to clean, she just stuffs my clothes in my drawers even though I have told her and showed her that I have certain drawers for certain things."

"So maybe you should do your bed and clothes and she'll do her own and then trade the rest."

"But Mom, that's all there is to do."

"So you would rather keep it as it is?"

Yes, that is what she ended up preferring.  However, sometimes this younger sister will chase off her older sister and do the whole job herself rather then put up with Chamrie's talking and cajoling.

When Chiya was nine-and-a-half years old, we were living in Utah, we had Mary, Neil's sister, and her four children come and visit us.  Mary's daughter, Tashera, took an instant liking to Chiya.  Wherever Chiya was, Tashera would be right next to her.

One afternoon Mary caught Chiya jumping over the fence in the backyard trying to get to the front.  Mary questioned Chiya and Chiya kept avoiding giving an understandable answer.  Finally Chiya told Mary that she was just trying to get away from Tashera for a few minutes!  Mary laughed and said that she knew that feeling herself at times.

When Chalae was one year old, the first sibling name she could say was Chiya.  She would call KeeeeeYaaaaaaaaaah!  Chiya would respond with the biggest smile, gather her up and shower her with love.  That adoration felt by Chalae for her Chiya also carried with it that constant companionship that the little ones want and need.

Chiya would sometimes try to get a free minute away from her sweet sister.  We would laugh about how much Chalae loved Chiya and how exhausting that could be. Chiya then told me that when Cheyanne was a baby and adored Chamrie like that, she would pray that the next baby would be attached to her in the same way.  Now, her prayer was answered and she loved it but it was so all-of-the-time!

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