I came into the Church very quickly.  I always loved my Heavenly Father.  The Spirit carefully taught me concerning my relationship with Him. I knew I was his daughter.  I understood Jesus Christ was his son, but as I was Heavenly Father’s daughter I saw nothing unique in whom and what Jesus was.

When I was eighteen, I awakened to the knowledge of my relationship with Jesus Christ.  I had a powerful spiritual experience while visiting a Baptist church.  I found myself born again in Christ.  Who Jesus Christ really is and how He relates to me became deeply impressed upon my heart and my mind.  I had never forgotten my connection to Heavenly Father and now I remembered my Savior as well.  I asked others about Christ and Heavenly Father.  I found it difficult to understand their very confusing explanations of mystery and sameness.  I believed the Holy Ghost had taught me from childhood about Heavenly Father and these disturbing explanations did not fit those teachings.

I prayed.  I told God of my confusion concerning the trinity belief.  I expressed my unwillingness to accept my Heavenly Father and Christ being the same person.  I also told of the deep love I now felt toward my Savior.  I asked if I could put these things, including commitment to a religion, on hold until I understood about the relationship between Christ and Father.  I left it at that. I could not accept the prevalent philosophy of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father being the same person.  In prayer, I put the question of religion on hold until I could resolve the conflict the Trinity belief had with the teachings of my personal childhood walks with my Heavenly Father.

Five months later I found myself visiting the L.D.S. church with Bob, the wonderful young man I had dated throughout high school.  We were there to support Jeff, an L.D.S. convert singing in his stake Christmas choir.  I sat at the very back edge of the cultural hall.  I could not see the singers.  Instead, I watched a man walk up and down the halls following a little toddler.

There was nothing remarkable about the father and his son.  However, the picture of the two of them pierced my heart to the very center.  Tears filled my eyes.  I knew I wanted for my children something they had, something tangible in spirit but unseen by eyes. They have no idea that they were instrumental to my making eternal covenants.

After the program Bob said, “The Mormons believe that marriage should be forever.  Perhaps we should both look into it.”  I quickly agreed.

Bob was going to a school in Arizona.  He left for Arizona and investigated the Church while there.  After Bob left town, I telephoned Jeff.  Unknown to me he was a stake missionary.  I greeted him by saying, "I want to know more about your church."  Right away he brought some pamphlets to my home along with two books: The Articles of Faith by Talmadge and A Marvelous Work and A Wonder by Richards.  He quickly left without telling me anything about his beliefs.  I picked up LeGrande Richards' book and began to read.

A few minutes later I reached the chapter describing our Heavenly Father.  The book had declared what I had always known, that my inner spirit is a literal daughter of Heavenly Father.  And I knew.  Totally, undeniably and joyfully I knew the Church was true.

I immediately telephoned Jeff.  He had barely walked in the door of his home.  This time I greeted him by declaring, "I want to be baptized."

Shocked silence seeped from the other end. "You can't be baptized."

"Why?"

"Because you haven't had the missionary lessons yet."

"How many are there?"

"Seven."

"Can I have them all at once?"

"No, you can only have two per week."

We started.  Each week I would attend church.  Meanwhile, Bob had also received a witness concerning the Church.  Jeff baptized us together.

I did not have to alter a single dearly held truth when I joined the church.  Knowledge poured into my mind, deepening the whisperings of my childhood.  A permanent and life long joy filled my soul as I entered the peace and light of testimony and covenant.

In my childhood I had many dreams about my future companion.  The physical description of the person changed from time to time.  The character and actions remained the same.  As I grew, the dreams became more detailed.  I also found that while the image of my companion became more vague the qualities and spiritual characteristics became more distinct and dear to my heart.

As I became a young woman, I found myself drawn to those young men exhibiting some of those qualities.  I did all I could to try to make these young men match my dreams.  Bob very nearly matched.  I was only faintly aware that I was overlooking important whispers that the Lord’s plan was different from my own.

After our baptism we became engaged and looked forward to a temple marriage.  I was thrilled at the prospect but while receiving my patriarchal blessing, the Lord very clearly, very tenderly whispered in my mind, "No.  Not him."

While it was never the Lord’s intention for Bob and me to marry, I have been grateful beyond words for our friendship.  Through Bob I attended the L.D.S. Christmas program.  Through him I considered looking into the religion that led to my deep and unwavering commitment.  He was a stabilizing influence in my youth and the catalyst ultimately leading to my eternal companion and children.

I had just met Neil Logan but had no idea who he really was.  In fact, while I remember the moment, I do not remember Neil in it.  It was the first time that I, now a new member of the church, had entered the local Institute of Religion.  Neil remembers because he took an instant dislike to me.  I do remember becoming aware of him throughout the summer, though, and how strongly I felt abhorrence toward him.  He says he thought I was stuck up.  I say that I thought he was mean.  We both recognize now that what we felt was not the Lord's whispering but the whispering of another one desiring to thwart Christ's plan.

Then the day came when Neil took me into his arms to teach me a dance step.  Clear through me came a powerful sensation.  It was one I had experienced only when the Holy Ghost was at its most intense in my life.

I was so very angry at myself for feeling that sensation connected with Neil!  Of all the people in the world how could it possibly happen concerning him?  I tried to put it down to a major mistake.

A few months later I awoke from a dream.  Not just a little dream and not something frightening, entertaining, stress relieving, stress creating, or imagination at work dream.  This was one of those dreams that I knew came from my Father in Heaven.  Heavenly Father clearly showed Neil Logan to be the companion I had dreamed of from early childhood.

In a flash I was out of bed and kneeling upon the cold floor.  "Neil Logan?  Heavenly Father, you've got to be kidding!  I don't want anything to do with him."

Pause.  A long, long pause.  Then a touch less rebellious, I whispered,  "Ok, I'll watch him.  See if he really could be that person.  I'll talk it over with you, but until I ask please don't send any confirmation."

The following five months were very awkward.  The next two years were even more disconcerting!  I spent five months watching the poor young man.  I watched him laugh and serve.  I watched and listened as he prayed.  I fell in love.  I spent the next two years wondering if I was, after all, somewhat insane.

The day came for me to seek in prayer a confirmation to the dream and study I had done concerning this matter.  And I knew.  There was no doubt except one: the overriding, self-incriminating thought that I was not worthy of such a good man.  Certainly, I must be crazy.

I had been in the church for a year and a half by then.  I had already heard the favorite stories of a woman receiving revelation about some young man and marriage only to discover that he never got the same direction from the Spirit.  I was determined to not appear foolish so there was nothing I could do but to sit silent concerning the Lord's confirmation.  Keeping this incredible news to myself seemed like the hardest of tasks.

However, sitting silent turned out to not be the most difficult thing in life.  Imagine my chagrin when clear direction came to me while in prayer, "Tell him."

Shock!  Horror!  Trembling at the very thought I replied, "No."

I was frustrated when each time I knelt to pray there came the same persistent demand.  "Tell him."

Finally, with tremendous regret, I said to my beloved Heavenly Father, "I must stop praying.  All you do is command me to do something that I could never do, so I cannot talk to you anymore."  And I did stop.

That night I did not pray.  The next morning I did not pray.  When night came, I crawled into bed without praying and just after I turned the light off I heard a voice, chastising me, loving me, say, "Cherie."

In a flash I was out of bed and on my knees and saying, "Ok, I'll tell him!  I'll tell him!"

How easy it was to promise the Lord after such a shakeup.  However, when morning arrived, it was also easy to put off fulfilling that very promise.  It was especially easy to feel that the timing was never right.  I began to realize the perfect moment would never come up of it’s own accord.  For a very short time I convinced myself that my not speaking to Neil was simply a matter of logically poor timing.  My intent to obey was real and surely Heavenly Father understood how important timing was in everything.  Day after day I rationalized away my obedience.

There came the weekend of a Young Adult conference, a day of fasting and a speaker talked about chastity and the importance of staying clean.  He told us there are many people affected when individuals sin.  Especially involving the sins concerning chastity.  Not only do those particular sins harm the couple involved but also their future companions and the children awaiting them.  “Yes,” he said, “they are there, waiting.”

During this conference time Brother Duane Huff introduced me to Elder Carlos E. Asay.  Brother Huff embarrassed me by telling me he had mentioned me to Brother Asay.  Elder Asay and his wife wanted to talk to me.

What an experience for a young adult convert!  I talked to them.  They were such a gracious couple.  Elder Asay told me to point Neil out when I got a chance.  Later, before I had the opportunity to do so, Elder Asay whispered to me that he had seen Neil and me together and would I please send him a wedding announcement when it came time.

The thrill and awe to think that a General Authority of the Lord had basically told me that this marriage might really happen!  It would really happen, provided we followed the unspoken command of hearkening to the Spirit!  A few months later I met Elder Asay again.  He seemed quite surprised that the marriage hadn't yet occurred.  He suggested that he could talk to Neil and give him a kick to get him moving.  Perhaps if I had taken Elder Asay up on his offer of assistance things would not have taken another full year and a half!

I went home after the Young Adult Conference and knelt down besides my bed and broke my fast.  Then I sat up on the bed and aloud said, "OK, Heavenly Father, I want to speak to these children."

Suddenly nine spirits filled the room.  I had a clear impression that there were more children than the nine but they were busy and could not be present.  I knew the Lord would show them to me at another time.  Nine!  What a wonderful surprise and unimaginable blessing!

The children were standing before me, not speaking.  Clearly they were my children and Neil's.  They looked like his family.  There was no doubt what the Lord and these children wanted.  I could tell by the way they were standing which boy was older than another boy and which girl was older than another girl.  However, between the sexes I could not tell the order of birth.
Thus I saw an oldest boy, with a set of scriptures in his hand and magnificent in his bearing.  I was struck with his power.  He looked to be about seventeen years of age and I wondered to myself if the Lord will lower the age for missionaries entering the field.

Next to him was another boy, also powerful in his spirit and beside him another boy of equal ability and strength.
On the opposite side there was a girl, the oldest of the girls, and she was holding a baby daughter of mine.  The little baby had big tears rolling down her cheek and I instantly agreed to tell Neil all that the Lord asked of me.  I could not tell if the oldest girl and the oldest boy were twins but both had an air of being the eldest child.

Next to the older girl was another girl.  She held the hand of a younger girl.  The young girl held the hand of another girl about her size.  Between the grouping of sons and the grouping of older and younger children was my third daughter.  She was standing without holding hands because I was to recognize her as the spirit I had once beheld in a dream when I was a youth.
I was also left wondering if the second son and second daughter were twins because there was a special connection between them.

Because of this awesome experience, I was left with no excuse but to tell Neil immediately about the original dream.  How hard it was to be, even then.  I agreed and told the Lord I was willing to tell Neil how much I had come to love him.  However, I didn't know where I could get the courage to lay my spirit heart open and tell him about the dream.

The following Young Adult meeting found me taking Neil aside, sitting and asking him to say a prayer for us.  He did, as always humble and quiet before the Lord.  Then in a quick run to do what the Lord asked I said, "I had this dream.”  I told the dream and ended with, "Now, tell me I am wrong so I can find out whom I am really supposed to marry."

When it finally came down to it, I could not open myself up to saying I knew it was from the Lord.  I tried to run even from what I wanted more than anything else.  However, Neil had experience with dreams.  He did not dream himself but while on his mission some Lamanites had dreamed about him.  Neil's testimony of dreams was solid.  I could have said anything else and it would not have had such a powerful impact upon him.

Neil had just proposed to another young woman and was awaiting her response when I dropped this on him.  It was no wonder my spirit baby was crying.  It was understandable that I would have such an intense experience as seeing my children to motivate me to act immediately.  If I had waited much longer in postponing the command of Christ things might have been very different indeed.

After I spoke, Neil just looked at me.  Then in a quiet voice he said, "You will get an answer, but first I have to pray about it.  And before I can pray about it, I must first get over hating you.  No one has ever hated you as much as I do."

There it was.  There I waited.  This was one of the toughest trials of my life.  I was waiting and waiting for a good man, a man of God, a laughing, intelligent and infuriating man.  To help me and to let me know it was part of His plan, the Lord sent many intense spiritual experiences:  Priesthood blessings, dreams, visions, friends with confirming hearts, and an undeniable love.

My patience lasted for about three months.  Then I found a way to talk with Neil about this remarkable issue.  His response went along the line of,  "I need to date a girl or two," and I instantly knew the identity of those girls.  This pattern of patience, conversation and enlightened resignation was followed repeatedly for the next several months.

When I would know about the girls Neil wanted to date I had a choice before me: become depressed, angry and jealous, or become sincere friends with these girls.  I chose to make friends of my potential rivals.  I thus developed sincere and deep friendships.  The surprising result, which I did not learn until later, was when they dated Neil, the young ladies lead the conversations to the topic of Cherie.  Eventually Neil gave up dating because he disliked the constant reminder of what might be the Lord's promptings.

I was told in a blessing to always be where Neil would be.  I found myself to always be in the right place at the right time, a miracle Neil didn't appreciate.  We would be at the Young Adult dances and he would dance once with many of the girls he knew.  Then I would see him give a frustrated, sad sigh and come over and ask me to dance.  Unfortunately for him, he really enjoyed dancing with me.  We would continue dancing together the rest of the evening until it got down to the last dance and he would come to his senses and quickly excuse himself to find another partner.

Neil has always been an excellent dancer.  He had decided as a youth that he preferred dancing the swing to the popular individualistic style.  There was never a shortage of women wanting to dance with him. Later, after we married, he told me I was lighter on my feet and more enjoyable to dance with than anybody.  He wanted to keep the distance between us and yet he really enjoyed dancing with me.

Then came the evening he showed up at my home.  No phone call.  He just dropped in at the dinner hour.  Quite surprised, I offered to share my meal with him.  He ate.  He left.  Strange.  This happened several times.  He would come, eat, visit for a few minutes and then leave.  Even to this day, I am not sure what his visit was all about.  Finally one day he said to me, "I have to stop coming over here or we will get married and I am not ready to be married.  I have too many church callings to be able to marry right now."  Within a week the Lord had released him from those hindering callings.  Lesson: Don't try using the Lord as your excuse.

Neil’s telling me that he had to stop coming over really angered me.  Shocked me.  We still had never dated.  He had just hung about for a few minutes each visit.  Certainly something must have been going on in his mind, but what?

It was also the turning point from a spiritual stand.  Until then when I prayed I felt the Lord tell me, "Give him time."  From that point, whenever I prayed, the Lord told me, "He is running out of time."  This was a puzzle to me.  First I had been required to be so patient, and now I had a feeling of the need for hurry.  I struggled in prayer to find what the Lord meant by time running out.  Finally one August day came the crystal clear answer of, "You need to be married by the summer or you will miss out on a child."

In one plain sentence came an agony of heart.  I now deeply loved Neil.  I was also completely committed to the children I had seen.  I especially focused on my last little girl.  It seemed to me that by marrying Neil later than the coming summer I would run out of time in getting her to earth.  Where was my responsibility?

I understood and fervently believed the counsel on priorities as taught in the Church.  I knew my relationship with Heavenly Father and Christ was to come first, my relationship with my husband would be second and my relationship with my children would follow.  As I pondered this, it was clear that since I wasn’t yet married my priority would have to be the spirit children.

When vital things are threatened, I first get very angry.  Now I was had an anger at Neil intense enough to take me straight to my bishop.  I feel so sorry for my poor bishop.  He was faced with an angry young woman ready to stomp off on a man she had never dated!

He knew the situation as we had talked a few times before and he listened to me again.  I told that I was ready to get on with my life and form attachments elsewhere and I would do whatever he counseled me to do.  "But I want you to be sure it is from the Lord," I said.

Bishop Hendry agreed to fast and to meet with me the following week.  When I sat in his office the next Sunday in October, he looked at me and said, "I am glad you asked me to be sure that what I say is from the Lord.  Last week, as a man, I would have said to drop him.  He is just playing games with you.  But this week, I tell you as your bishop that January is not too long to wait for him to make a move."

Then he went on to give me a lovely blessing.  In the blessing he said, "No matter what the Lord has planned and prepared from the very beginning he cannot interfere with free agency."  Neil had been mentioned by name in other blessings and again in this one.  Also mentioned was the confirming forewarning that I would miss out on a child if I waited too long.  However, I still had time.  I still had hope.

During this time I had a few wonderful confidants.  Several of them were friends of Neil's.  These compatriots, without his being aware of it, were bringing me encouragement and information concerning his state of mind, emotion and activity.  There were several friends mentioning to me their impressions that the Lord intended Neil and me for each other.  They had received such impressions while seeing Neil and me in various activities.

Oh, I was very shameless.  When I was told in a blessing that I needed to be where Neil was, I arranged all the contact I could: to sit next to him in a car, to be next to him at a table, to be in the same group as he in each activity.  We had the same friends, shared the same experiences, but never dated.  I guess I made him date me without his knowledge.

During all of this, my greatest confidant was the Institute of Religion Director, Duane  Huff.  This great friend of the single crowd listened to me, smiled, laughed outright and told me in a sentence or two just what I needed to hear.  He never made decisions for me and any counsel he gave was completely couched in obscure suggestions.

For instance, he saw me thrilled one day because Neil had been caught off guard and had actually said something nice like, "Hi."  Brother Huff laughed and said, "Cherie, you have more joy from one jelly bean from Neil than a whole box of candy from anybody else."  He was right.

When I first met Neil's mom, I was so impressed with how very nice she was.  She was a considerate lady.  Brother Huff agreed and said, "Neil is just like her.  That is where he gets his sense of humor."  Humph.  I wondered at the time if Brother Huff had fallen off the inspiration chariot.  But he hadn't.

Of all the mini conversation lessons Brother Huff told me, the most important one was this and in this he was quite serious.  "Cherie, the day will come when you have had enough.  Then you will tell Neil that you are through waiting.  When it happens, he will know exactly what the Lord wants him to do.  But be very careful that you are completely honest.  Do not say you are through waiting for him until you really are or it will backfire."

In November I moved again and now had a new bishop.  This unsuspecting man called me into his office.  "Sister Sommers, have you considered going on a mission for the Lord?"

What a wonderful experience a mission would be!  "I would love to, Bishop!  This is what is happening in my life."  And I told him every detail I could quickly and coherently get out.  At the end of my monologue I said, "I just don't know if the other bishop meant he had until the beginning or the end of January.  The beginning is just over a month away."

He sat and thought for a moment.  Then he said a few of those sentences I will never forget.  "Give him to the end of January.  But you have to tell him every dream, every vision, every blessing, every experience you have had so he will be fully accountable.  If he still does nothing, the Lord will provide another companion for you before the summer."  When he pronounced the message of the blessing, I knew I had been faithful in listening to the Spirit.  The Lord reassured me that I would have each child I had seen.  They would not be lost because Neil chose to not be their father.  But the time limit was there and it was clear.

I had to tell Neil everything.  This was agonizingly difficult.  Up to that point the only thing I had told him concerning these spiritual experiences was the original dream.  The dream had occurred two years earlier this upcoming January.  Two years and nothing had happened.

I spent the entire December and the first half of January grieving.  I dearly loved Neil.  I loved him more than I thought possible. I wondered how I could ever get past all of the incredible experiences and marry anybody else.  I knew I would get past them.  I needed the January limit on his not dating me so I would have time to shift these intense feelings and honestly go to the temple with somebody else, as impossible as it then seemed.  I could not lose my child.

I knew he would do as he had the previous years and say he would pray about it but he needed another three months to do so.  I knew as soon as he said that, all would be over because I dared not take the extra time.  Knowing all of this, I arranged to speak to him one night after Young Adults.

We met on January 18th, two years from when I had my awakening dream.  This time our meeting was different.  I told him absolutely everything.  This time instead of backing down, I said clearly, "I know these things are from the Lord and all you have to do is decide what you really want.  I cannot wait for an action from you past this month.  I need to get married by this summer or I will miss out on a child."

Neil sat a few minutes, saying nothing at all.  Then he said, "This time you will get your answer, but I have to leave for Idaho and won't be back until sometime in February."

The end had arrived.  I had already known it and I was at a melancholy peace.  I went home to wait out the last two weeks of the month and wonder what could possibly lie in store for me beyond January.

On the afternoon of January 28, I found myself suddenly sick.  I had a high fever and chills.  I barely made it home from college in time to crawl into bed.  I slept for an hour before the phone awakened me.  On answering I heard Neil say, "You better sit."  I did.

Then, "Do you want to go out?"

"When?"

"Tonight."

"And do what?"

"Dinner and dancing."

"Well, if you don't mind taking somebody with a fever.”  There was no way I would say NO after all this time and only three more days left to the end of the month.

Next I heard him laugh and suggest that I "Take an enema and a hot bath."  I had no idea what an enema was and told him so after which he suggested that he could show me.  Then laughing over his clever statement, he said, "I'll pick you up in half an hour."

Wow!  Thirty minutes to get ready for dinner and dancing with my dream man!  Incredible!  What to wear, how's my hair, so many things to attend to.  I made it!  I was ready on time.  I waited.  Waiting is incredibly difficult for me.  I waited some more.  I had waited a couple of years for this man and I found I was still waiting.  Then he was there. Two hours late!  Oh, he really wanted to take me out!  When I opened the door, the first thing he said was, "I'm sorry, I had to finish watching an Abbot and Costello movie."  It didn't matter.  He had made a move before the end of January.  There was still time.  After the date he told me with sincere surprise that he had enjoyed the evening.  There was still hope.

Later Neil would tell me that when I told him everything and told him in testimony that I knew it was from the Lord, he actually saw eternity open up before him.  Then because of pride he saw it close and that he had lost out.  Still, he could not overcome the pride.  To go to Idaho he had to have a car.  One of his cars quit working and then the other.  One of them started working as soon as he decided he shouldn't go on the trip.  He said, "The Lord broke my car."

He had purchased tickets to this dinner/dance.  But he was confused over the date of the dinner so the young lady he had asked was unavailable on the real date.  He had tried every girl he had known.  Nobody ever gave up a chance to dance with Neil; still, he couldn’t find anybody to go with him.  So, finally forced to the end of the list, he found the name Cherie Sommers.

The month of February was pretty much as I had expected.  Neil would date me just enough to keep himself honest with the Lord. I had some angry moments knowing that was exactly what he was doing.  How much was just enough?  Three dates were all he allowed me that month.  The initial date opened my heart to hope and the following month brought a flood of mixed emotions.

A week after our first date Neil again asked me out.  He had told me a few years before that he would only hold hands with somebody whom he might be thinking of marrying.  Imagine my elation when this man I loved with all my heart took my hand in his!  For the previous two years I would actually tremble when he would take me into his arms for a dance and now finally, there was tender contact of a more deliberate nature.

The next date brought us even closer.  That night when he brought me home we stood at the door and we went from holding hands to a tender embrace.  As I stood there with him I was truly lost in all the emotions I had bottled up for so long and insane courage grabbed hold of me.  I lifted up my face to kiss this man.  Suddenly his voice broke through my dream and he said, "Not on the lips!"

We laugh about this now and I hope my children are as firm in their protection of their physical self as their father was.  Neil knew how important the physical relationship would be and he did not want kissing to be the main basis for deciding upon an eternal companion.  So in embarrassed shyness, I kissed his cheek and buried my face into his neck.  Then with a quick good night, he was gone again.

I did not hear a word from him for nearly two weeks.  The next time we met was at another Young Adult event.  By this time I was furious.  I was convinced he had dated me those three times only to keep me hanging.  It seemed to me that he had done only as much as he felt the Lord required.  I decided to not speak to him or be anywhere near him that night.

Fortunately, we had all of our friends in common.  I could stand near them, speak to them and pretend that Neil being in the common group was different from my actually being with him.  Knowing my husband now I can imagine his turmoil.  The Spirit was yelling at Neil.  His own tender feelings were beginning to awaken and yet he had declared for so long that he wanted nothing to do with me.

At the end of the meeting, Neil invited me to go with him to our friend's home for ice cream.  Unfortunately for us, Gary and Annette, his date, fell asleep on the couch and Neil and I experienced our first kiss.  That kiss opened a floodgate of emotions and desires and there is no doubt it could easily and quickly lead to our immediate destruction.  Fortunately for us, our friend's mother was home.  She walked into the room and brought us to our senses.  We are more grateful for a mother's presence that night than we can ever say.

The month of March then began and we were inseparable.  We dated for the next six weeks.  That time truly blurs in the mind.  The greatest difficulty was to keep reins upon the physical attraction.  We talked and set a rule to help us get through with our chastity intact.

We would say a prayer together.  One of us would be the voice.  That role would alternate between us each day.  Whoever was the one to say the prayer was also the one burdened with keeping track of sanity and with saying, "No!"  This worked well.  While we were both on guard, we also learned to trust the other person to watch out for our eternal well-being.  The only time this plan did not work was when we would say the prayer and then hang around for another few moments and another few kisses.  We soon realized we needed to establish another rule of departing as soon as prayer had been uttered.

After we had dated for four weeks, an old friend of Neil's came into town.  She was one of the girls he had never dated and yet he had wondered if she might be 'the one'.  He called me to tell me that he just had to go out with her, just this once, to have the question answered.  He was taking her to the beach and would come by to see me later in the evening.

I was beyond angry at this point.  Now it was April and the deadline of June was right around the corner.  As far as I could tell things were advancing quickly and now this!  I waited in anger and dreaded the moment when Neil would show up at my door.  When he did, we sat on the couch together.  He had one of the worst sunburns I had ever seen and I rejoiced in his pain!  Quietly, he told me that his friend had a beautiful singing voice but she wasn't me.

The following week we went to a dance together.  Neil spent the entire evening dancing with every female friend available.  He did not dance with me at all and I was hitting the anger point pretty hard.  Finally the second to the last dance found him at my side ready for some companionship.  Forgiving person that I am, I let him lead me to the dance floor.  To cap the evening, when the dance was finished, he said, "Oh, I forgot to dance with someone!"  Off he went for the last dance.

I was ready to find anybody to drive me home.  Neil managed to find me in the crowd before I could arrange another ride and so he took me home.  I hardly said a word during the drive.  I was crying however.  He was very apologetic and kept saying he didn't know why he had acted that way.  Finally, he said, "I just got there and this dancing stud feeling took over."  I forgave him but was not ready to set myself up for that kind of neglect ever again.

Then I became sick.  This time I couldn't get out of bed to save myself.  It gave Neil the time to fast and pray.  For three days he fasted about our marrying and he received no direction whatsoever.  I knew he was going through this and in my anxiety over the process I told my mother he was finally considering marriage.

The next time Neil visited me, we were sitting at the dining room table with my mother when she started asking him a list of questions.  "What is your mother's name?  Your father's?  When were you born?"  Upon inquiry she told us it was for the engagement announcement in the paper!

Still, Neil didn't ask me to marry him.  He was by now filled with love for me and was beginning to agonize over what the Lord wanted him to do about it.  His answer surprised him but it shouldn't have surprised me.  The Lord’s answer was  . . . silence.
Nearly a year before I had fasted and prayed in the mountains and I got a distinct voice in my mind telling me, "It will not be your answer (yes).  It will not be his answer (then it would have been a desired no.)  It will be my answer (you already know the answer.)"

At the very time of that mountain revelation, Neil had been lamenting to his friends, "The Lord is going to make me marry Cherie Sommers."  "I am going to have to eat humble pie and marry Cherie Sommers."  The prospect in his mind seemed forceful and gloomy.

Now the time for agony belonged to Neil.  Things were good between us.  We fit nearly perfectly.  He was comfortable.  And answerless.  As we attended another Young Adult meeting Elder Hartman Rector, Jr., spoke on something or other.  He said, "Sometimes you do all you should.  You study, you fast, you pray.  Nothing happens."  He caught Neil's deepest attention.  "When that happens you say, 'This is what I am going to do.  Lord, stop me if I am wrong.' And if your heart is in the right place and it is wrong He will stop you.  Otherwise, things will just keep getting better and better."  Did he say that just for Neil?  Once, years later Neil was asked, "Did you ever get a yes answer?"  His smiling reply was a quiet no.

We went to another dance.  This time Neil never left my side except once when he danced with Margie, a friend of ours.  This dance was up in the mountains, and by the time we arrived back to his home it was very late.  We sat, talked and held each other there in the car, neither of us wanting the evening to end.  As he held me, he said in words that mirrored my original dream, "I love you.  I want to be with you forever."  We kissed, we prayed and we parted.

I was on fire with the Spirit, with joy, and with an intensely important question.  The next night I asked, "Neil, last night . . . did you propose to me?"

He looked so surprised!  "What do you think all of that was?"

Wanting to be very sure I did not misunderstand him I said, "Well, you never asked me anything!"

We wanted to tell our closest friends right away.  This had been so long coming and then happened so fast that most of the people we knew really had no idea it was even occurring.  We invited Gary over to Neil's house.  After he arrived, we telephoned two mutual friends, Brian and Greg, roommates at BYU.  With the three of us on three different extensions and these two friends on two phones up there we told them we were engaged!

There was silence on the other end while this processed.  Then a groggy and confused Brian asked, "Cherie?  You are engaged to Gary?"  It was one of the most incredible unions after such a long noncourtship that our group of Young Adults had seen.
We were engaged!  Neil did watch to see if the relationship between us got better or worse.  The Lord blessed us in that moment as things kept getting better and better.

If dating the right man was hard, being engaged to him was even harder.  Certainly love got better and better but along with love came the very real physical pull.  It became all we could do to resist.  We went to his mother and told her we were getting married in only six weeks.  That put our wedding on Thursday, June first.  She owned a print shop and this would be her busiest time since the various schools had yearbooks scheduled for printing.  She asked if we couldn't please wait until the end of June.

Looking right at our faithful mother/future mother we said, "Sure, but not if we are going to be able to make it to the temple!"  Neil’s delightful and wise mom laughed and quickly let us know that June first would be a perfect day!

Neil was working in the day and I was going to school at night.  By the time we could get together to plan our wedding it was about 10:30 in the evening.  Since we tried to end our time together at a reasonable hour there was little time left for planning.
Of course there was also the cuddling time. What saved us was watching television.  This was the strangest morality-keeper imaginable.  I would want to watch the shows and kiss during the commercials and Neil would want to kiss during the shows and watch the commercials.  We would laugh about it and be sure again that the Lord, combined with our willingness to follow Him, was protecting us.

Neil did not live at home during this period.  He had rented a room from another young adult man.  Once, I stayed so late that my eyes started to stay closed when I blinked them.  This happened as I was driving home and nearly caused me to crash the car.  The next night when an identical exhaustion came over me, Neil gave me a blanket and I slept on the living room couch.
Come morning when his roommate came out of his room and found me asleep in the living room, he wasn't happy.  Neither was my mother.  She called Neil’s mother at five in the morning to find out if she knew where I was.  I have always been impressed with Neil’s mother, knowing that she must have worried about our surviving the struggles of temptation, yet she responded in absolute peace when Neil told her that all was still clean between us.

Six weeks seemed to pass by at the slowest crawl.  What a joy filled my heart when I could answer the questions and get that temple recommend!  Neil and I are aware of how close we had come to passing a line of grief and we hope our children never come as close.  Being engaged to the right person and striving to marry in the right place is a very difficult task.  We made it!
We had our last Young Adult meeting on Tuesday night.  How we hated having to leave our group of single friends!

The next night found us driving up to the Los Angeles Temple apartments with his family.  We found that night to be the easiest in resisting temptation since our dating had started in earnest.  Something about being there and knowing that come morning we would be united for Eternity, filled us with a peace beyond understanding.

The next morning on June 1, 1978 we were married!  Others had told me that when one goes through the temple the first time and then marries immediately afterwards the person wouldn’t remember much of the Endowment.  That was not true for me.  The whole beautiful experience touched my spirit to the very core and I was in a cloud of awe and light all morning.

As we sat together in the sealing room and our officiator was ready to speak with us I was so much at peace.  Neil's dad and Rusty, his brother, were witnesses to our marriage and I remember looking at them and thinking that my father-in-law looked like a king.  I was uncomfortable about only one thing and was beginning to wonder when this would all be over.

The officiator began by suggesting that perhaps I was a bit nervous.  I assured him I was not.  He did not believe me and with a twinkle in his eyes pressed me on this matter.  Finally I spoke the truth.  "I just need to go potty."

Those who were with us, knowing me, laughed.  He appeared a bit flustered and then mumbled, “We best get on with the sealing then.”  First he asked Neil if he wanted to be married to me.  Neil said he did.  Then he asked me.  I said yes as well.  Then the officiator thought about it a moment and decided the question needed rewording a bit and so I got my second chance to agree.  I have always teased Neil that after all he had put me through I was the one the Lord gave two opportunities to refuse the marriage.

The love, the joy, and the peace I felt by finally being united before the Lord was indescribable.  There was passion, shyness and lots of tears and laughter, but mostly there was peace and a timelessness that permeated all we felt and experienced together.  My life has had several beginning points and yet marriage in the House of the Lord to my companion was the most vital beginning of my entire life.

I became pregnant on our honeymoon.  Seven and a half months later our son was born prematurely on January 18, 1978.  His birthday was three years from when I had the opening dream and one year from when I told Neil that I would lose out on a child if I waited any longer.  Two months later, on March 18, 1978 our son Marshall Wayne Logan died.  There is no doubt his mission was beyond this life and he was on a specific time schedule.  This was the child.  This firstborn and not a later child, was the one I would have given up had I chosen to not tell Neil everything and bear testimony.

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