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The Invitation Habit
Ponderings from the Classics
by Cherie Logan

...I believe she was pleased over having been invited to dinner, and as she was a stranger she couldn't know that mother had what we called the "Invitation habit."
    I have seen her ask from fifteen to twenty in one trip down the aisle on Sunday morning.  She wanted them to come too; the more who came, the better she liked it.  If the hitching rack and barnyard were full on  Sunday she just beamed.  If the sermon pleased her, she invited more.  That morning she was feeling so good she asked seventeen...
Laddie by Gene Stratton-Porter

The invitation habit.  That is what my family delights in.  Everyday sees people arrive at our home for companionship, for tenderness, for laughter.  They drive down our long dirt road and wade through children's toys scattered along the walk to reach our door.  As they enter, our home can be in any condition from perfect to a visual and verbal chaos.  But there is always a smile to greet them.  Several smiles in fact.  We never seem to get over the thrill of having friends walk through our threshold.

Children come here to play.  Adults come here to talk.  Patients come here to be treated.  Teens come here to interact.  Babies come right along with the rest of their family.  And our children are surrounded by a wide variety of individuals.  In the social skills my children vary from outgoing to quiet but all are gracious to those around them.  Gracious except for the wicked sense of humor that is inherent in them.  Only yesterday my eighteen year old son put together a Twelve Days of Christmas plan for a neighbor.  That is a game where you deliver gifts anonymously over a period of twelve days.  "Toilet paper.  I'm going to give them toilet paper because we are always out so they probably are too."  But then, the neighbor's home doesn't see a dozen extra people every day so they just might have enough paper.

I didn't come into my marriage with such an open perspective.  But I married a man with the Invitation Habit and before long I came to love it.  There was always enough food to share.  There was always enough entertainment to make room on the floor.  And there was always wonderful conversation in which to engage.  Besides, my husband was delightful!  When friends are included in our activity there is a social part of him that awakens, a part that excites me every time.  Oh, he's a sweetheart when the house is quiet, and I love to cuddle up and enjoy his peace.  But the other side of him is equally enjoyable and people just seem to know that they are welcome in every way.

My each of my nine children have a birthday party every year.  It isn't enough to invite other children their age.  I just couldn't bring myself to invite just one child in a family over for ice cream and cake when on every other day entire families of children come over to play.  So we would have between twenty and thirty children over for the party.  It was kept simple.  They arrive and play.  I call them in and we sing Happy Birthday.  My child opens the presents while I dish out the treat.  They eat and one by one run off to play some more.  The format never changes and is always excellently received.

We also have monthly adult parties.  Well, they started out as adult parties.  Our children would be put to bed and we would play games like Pictionary and Taboo until the wee hours of the morning.  People would come and go as they please and always bring a treat to share.  But as our children grew the circle of guests grew as well.  Now it is not only couples but my daughter's single adult friends and my teens' buddies.  With the teens also coming there are fewer baby-sitters for our adult friends so their children are often brought and again our house is full to brimming.  Now we have a corner for video games, a spot for group computer games, a table for traditional games, a retreat for simple conversation and a counter full of food.

Family Character - The Invitation Habit.  It is a vital aspect of our family character.  The open door, the laughter, and a joy in our life and the people who fill it.

Some Family Articles - To see others visit my GenCreations Index Page

More Babies? Wisdom - A Little Too Late Some Days Are Just Like That
Bringing the Past Home - Connecting with an Ancestor You Mean I'm Going To Be A Mother-In-Law Someday? Avoiding Home School Mother Burnout
What are You, a Couple of Rabbits An Adoption and A Healed Heart Christ and Mothers
How to Take a Sensational Bath Without Being a Bum The Bestest, Mostest Perfectest Commercial Toy in My Home What Does God Mean When He Speaks to Our Hearts?
Not by Accident Focus on the Kitchen Mother of My Children's Mother
Morning Time with My Angels Dear Nursery - Gardening is not for Dummies Beating the System - Personal and Social Integrity


Return to Noble Child's GenCreations Index

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The articles were written in the hope that they will help mothers realize just how normal chaotic life with children really is and how priceless the journey. 



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