The Lord can change missions.  The story of Hezekiah has always been a deeply important one for me.  When I had that first vision of my many children, I was concerned about little Chrystal's crying.  I saw my oldest daughter holding my youngest baby and the infant was crying as if her heart was broken.  For an entire year I prayed to understand why she was sad.

The answer came one night when I was awakened by an intense dream.  I heard in clear and tender tones these words, "You are forty now and it is time to come home."

"Forty?" I exclaimed.  "But I want to be with my baby."

The peace and tenderness continued to flood through my heart and mind as the message continued.  "I know.  But there are more important things for you to do now."

I awoke immediately and got down on my knees.  The Spirit of the Lord surrounded me as I prayed.  I told the Lord that I would willingly do whatever my earth mission might be.

Then, unmarried, not yet a mother, this seemed like a fair mission.  The feelings of that dream and prayer were incredibly deep and beautiful.  However, after marriage and children I began to feel differently.  I wanted to stay and to nurse and raise my babies.  I wanted to teach them.  I wanted more than nine children.  I began to pray and tell the Lord that I would do whatever he wanted but if possible I wanted these other things so very much.  I didn't want anybody harmed by my not leaving but I really wanted to be like my hero Hezekiah in the Bible.

When I was pregnant with Chiya, I had another wonderful dream.  I knew that I had died.  I found myself dressed in a beautiful, flowing gown.  I saw that I was in an elegant dining hall with seating and tables around the walls and the middle of the floor was clear.  The people there were dressed in white robes.  Everything was simply elegant.

There was another woman by my side.  She was obviously my companion.  We were sitting at a table.  Near me, at the head of the table, sat a man with other men sitting to either side of him.  He was small of build and dark brown in coloring.  He enjoyed himself, his friends and the meal.  Not in a negative way but joyfully, having a clean and healthy good time.  There were servants serving the food and they treated this man with honor as if he was very special.  I remember being somewhat ashamed because I did not know him and wondered if he might be the Lord.

After we ate there was music and a time to dance.  I danced Hebrew style without a partner.  Again, it was modest but fun entertainment.  Then the man and some other men began to question me about my life.  The questions centered on if I was clean and prepared for what was before me.  They told me that I was ready.

Then from the doorway a tall and very handsome man entered the room.  He spoke gently, intelligently, with a melodious voice.  The room cleared quickly of the other people except the girl beside me and a few of the men who had sat near me.  There was just the voice talking, imparting knowledge and love flowing through and around me.  This man I knew.  This was my Lord.  I did know Him immediately and I wanted to stay near Him forever.

Then He and I were in a small office and He was typing out instructions for me.  I was being sent back.  Oh, I did not want to go.  I loved Neil so very much but I also wanted to stay with the Savior.

Knowing how I felt, Jesus stopped and turned to me and this sentence rang clear in my mind, "The sheep know the shepherd."  I certainly knew.  I had recognized Him immediately.    Instantly, I was down on the street below the temple.  I was looking up and watching other spirits enter the building.  Neil was with me, holding me.  The girl who had been with me in the temple was still standing beside me.  That girl was the grown spirit of my Chiya whose body was then developing within me.

At that point something fell from my eyes and I could no longer see the spirits and the angels.  At first I was angered, saddened at the loss of vision or experience.  But Neil was with me and as always we would continue our work together until we were called back.  Then we would be together forever because we would know the voice of the Shepherd.

The instructions typed out by the Lord was an extension of my earth mission.  I had been praying that if possible, without interfering with something important, that I could stay longer with Neil and my children.  The little one would need me so much.

I could not know everything, so I wouldn't force the Lord's hand in this but He did extend a king's life in the Old Testament by several years.  Now he had extended mine.  It was a beautiful dream and I cherish it.

When I was pregnant with Nathan, I met Ryan and he told me that he would bring with him a return of my health.  When Ryan was born, my health deteriorated quickly.  I had complete thyroid failure.  As a result I doubled my weight.  This added much confusion to the clear message that my son had delivered.

When we moved to Utah, there were a series of events that brought me into contact with a method of holistic health that changed the course of my life and certainly, it did result in my mission being extended.  I would not have sought out such a change if my weight had not been the motivating factor.  I look upon it now as the means of bringing about the greater blessing.  Yes, Ryan's arrival did bring about a return of my health.

Again, with Chrystal's birth my life was extended.  Because of hidden bleeding following her beautiful delivery my pulse disappeared and my blood pressure bottomed out.  As I separated from my body in those many heartbeats, I found myself standing with my three boys, Marshall who had died, Ammon and Joshua who are to be my grandsons.  Did they block my departure from life?  It felt more like a mini-meeting to finalize some plan.  It was peaceful and left me with the assurance that my life here will continue.

Life, giving the power of it over to the Lord is a deeply faithful action.  Allowing children to come into a home, and living life for others is a life filled with joy and increase.  I am grateful to be here, to raise my children and delight in extra years.  And I know that life is not the same as mortality.  I cherish the vision.