What follows here is an outline I use for one class in a series on Communication.  Even though I have included it here for those interested please be aware that it is written for an interactive presentation and not for reading.  I'm hoping to finish it for reading at some date but many wanted it up immediately so here is the draft.
 

TIME ORIENTATIONS
A person can be a mix of these orientations and as always,
the ideal is to develop all aspects. 

There are five methods of time orientation.  People usually access one of three methods most of the time.  Those three are called Future Paces, Present Focused and Past Absorbed.  The remaining two method can be accessed by anybody no matter which of the above three they are using.  I call these special two orientations the Eternal Future and Ancient Past.

Eternal or Heavenly Future.  A person can have a spiritual focus that permeates and even overrides his basic time orientation.  This means that while accessing the main orientations, their perspective is tempered and enhanced by their faith. 

Future Paced - Goal Oriented, Desire and Idea Driven

Present Focused - Task Oriented, Critical and Need Driven

Past Absorbed. - Event Oriented, Lesson and Memory Driven

Ancient Past - Awakens with the study of genealogy, history, literature and some sciences.

Future: Every Girl Should be Married 

Present - Sabrina (auditory and visual also happening here)

Past - Frequency (negative example, what to watch for and protect against)

Ancient Past - Time line pg. 72

How does this knowledge help in our families?

Set goals, expect big plans and try to temper them into more realistic bites.  Follow through is difficult but important.  Some future paced people are so into their time frame that just planning gives them as much satisfaction as doing so they never really do.  It is the same way with excitement.  So much excitement goes into the planning that the actual doing pales.  That doesn’t mean they don’t want or enjoy the doing, just that it has already become a step towards the next goal.   Help children develop some creative writing interests, especially science fiction to enhance their perspective.  Long term goals and rewards work well.  Leave it to the child to remember the plans and promised rewards, to report back to the present when it is completed.  A future paced view may leave one feeling that the future takes a long time to get here but once “it” arrives they are probably already focused on the next future. The eternal perspective is powerful to a future paced individual because it is comfortable, friendly or honestly effective as it is constant, in forever front rather than always moving past their view. 

Don’t talk too much about what will be happening all year.  Constant comments on long range requirements can seem overwhelming to a now person.  When you talk of future requirements, they think either they need to be done right away or that they are so far off as to be unrealistic.  School goals are best kept to what should be done today or this week.  For larger goals, follow a program similar to Scouting where big goals are broken up into separate complete goals.  The child can satisfy their right now sense by while slowly working towards the larger goal.  Book series do the same thing when each book is independent of the others but tie in through the same characters.  In the end they would have read hundreds of pages that would have been overwhelming in the long view.  This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have long term goals.  But expect them to be dreamlike, vague until closer to hand. Help a present time person to broaden view by keeping a calendar for the future and a journal for the past.  Teach them things that need immediate attention and focus such as emergency skills.  Meanwhile, role play things that might happen as a result of something else to help develop future what-if skills.  An Eternal view is very powerful in that spiritual values of long term duration color the very now perspective making choices based on other than need possible.  The Future never arrives because as soon as it does, it is right now.  But eternity is expected to be some time later so can exert an abiding influence because it is a constant...always in front.  Teach him how spiritual things effect him today and how today’s actions are vital to his life.

When teaching lessons, tie them into things the child has done in the past.  Help him discover patterns in life.  Show him how to do things differently today than he did a year ago as sometimes they get stuck even though their ability has increased.  Find a weekly time for what our family calls Memory Maker when somebody relates things from the past.  Before long everybody enters into the memory.  This will allow the past oriented person to focus on good memories that build love and tradition rather than on grief ones that block growth.  Help a past person to access Ancient Past through literature or other past events.  This gives a positive and creative view from their time perspective.  Enhance their Eternal perspective through scriptures and spiritual stories.  Help their past perspective to be an asset by learning about courageous people and deeply moving events from the past and tying it into today’s world. 

Some personal experiences affected by time orientation:

My husband is Present oriented with a three week time frame.  I am future oriented.  I make plans way beyond his time frame.  This frustrates him because he automatically thinks that whatever I say means Right Now.  He has trouble understanding my planning or worrying about something beyond his time reference.  I had to learn to plan for events with limited input from him.  I would have to move ahead on long term plans, trusting that when we hit three weeks from the deadline Neil would suddenly awake to the event.  I have to guard against frustration or hurt because of lack of interest on his part until the crunch time happens.  I was pregnant with my 5th child for 9 months, not any different from most pregnancies.  However, my labor with her was only 5 contractions.  He never had time to go from a vague concept of a baby to the reality of her presence.  For days afterwards he would come home and be surprised when I’d open the door with a baby in arms.

A calendar helps a Present and Future paced couple to get along.  If I talk about August today it wouldn’t mean anything.  But if I show him a calendar, just a single month’s worth, and then talk about August it helps him to focus on those few weeks.  It helps a little, usually. 

An example of a time perspective conflict happened with this conference.  I was asked to speak a few months ago.  Neil is involved in Scouting.  For weeks he would ask when I was going to come up to SLC to teach.  I’d tell him.  In his planning meetings he would ask about when the Scout’s Lake Powell camp out would be.  They’d tell him.  But it was never real to him because we lacked a calendar and the two FUTURE dates didn’t mean anything except something that was coming up.  Our scouts camp every month so there was always another camp to focus on and this one didn’t become immediate enough until two weeks before the event.  Suddenly he ran out of time to find a substitute leader and I’m here alone.  How wonderful a tiny escape with him would have been but after 23 years of juggling time concepts with my husband I’ve survived the disappointment. 

Another example is my 17 year old daughter.  She is usually Present with a little future thrown in under necessity.  When she was little and hadn’t learned how to deal with her perception, she could play all day at a friend’s home yesterday and be going to another friend’s home tomorrow but if nobody called her today then she would declare that she had no friends and NEVER did anything.

When she and her dad would argue, two present people, it was funny because neither of them could see beyond the moment and all of their arguments about the past were vague and ineffectual while the emotions were high and neither could see anything but the current irritant.

Another example is my 13 year old son.  He is highly future paced.  He is always asking me if he can have....if he can be...if he can study...do I think we could...what if he...all pertaining to stuff that has no relevance to the current situation. 

I have a well developed Ancient Past focus as I am a genealogist.  My children have teased me and said that I should start a genealogy database of living people. Put their names into the program and add their children just as I do my dead people.  Then maybe I could remember the names of my living associates.

Past oriented is not a negative thing.  It allows us to learn and remember lessons.  It opens the doors of writing and a deepening of love.  There is only one caution and that is a Past Oriented Feeling person can become saddened or depressed more easily and when that happens it helps to work on moving out of the past mode into any other.

As you watch your family members, be aware that it is ideal to develop all of the time senses.  In some situations certain ones are more easily accessed than others.  Practice utilizing the different time strengths of the family members to the betterment of everybody.  Because Neil allows me to plan and prepare for things coming up even though it is unreal to him our family benefits.  In an immediate crisis, Neil is a strength as he can manage under crisis with little forethought.  I can see things coming and he can see things as they are.  He is quick to notice when somebody needs help right now while I am often oblivious.  I can see how something we do today will affect us in the future.  It is a good balance for raising a family. 

Conclusion
(10 minutes)
Bringing it all together and why.

Video clip: 1776, blending of future, past, present, through time and intersect time.

Raising our children brings together all the powers of time.  We bring in the past as we embrace or alter our own upbringing in raising our own.  Raising and teaching children is very much a present experience, everything is immediate and focused.  As we raise them the future unfolds for us.  Eternity and God-like love fills our hearts.  Those same hearts reach back through time as we discover how universal being a parent can be.

George W. Haley, U.S. ambassador to the Republic of Gambia said,

“The family has no beginning, no end.  In the family reside the deeds of the past, the breath of the present, and the yearning of the future.  The family is the constant of the human universe - it is like the sky, something that has been and will always be...”

How Am I Oriented to Time?Eternity as Primary Focus: Regardless of any other orientation, there can be an over-riding focus on Eternity orientation.  This gives meaning to life and direction beyond anything that happens to an individual.  An Eternal focus colors the way they function in their basic orientation. 
 
 

Future Paced Goal Oriented Desire and Idea  Driven Does well with planning anything, everything. Sometimes so focused on the future that she misses things in the present or is unable to learn from and remember the past.  Can see, know or sense things that are coming and can see, know or sense problems before they arise.  Can adapt to changes in plans if an optional future-paced.  Comes to a momentary standstill if plans change if she is a sequential future-paced. Can foresee future consequences of current actions.  More concerned about the future, less worried about today and shrugs off the past.  Needs to protect against always planning but never doing because planning is future and doing is present.  Needs to protect against worrying about something when it is too early to do anything about it. Current problems are an irritant provided there is a hopeful future.  Current problems are overwhelming if it might shakes or darkens the future. Controls arguments and problems by seeing, sensing or knowing how it will effect the future.  Needs to work on paying attention to current needs and activities.

Present Focused Task Oriented Critical and Need  Driven Focus is on what is happening right now.  Being in the present could mean things that happen within the next several weeks to only those things that are happening today depending on the width of the person’s Present Orientation.  Present could extend on either side of today or just one direction.  Very good at dealing with emergencies, in evaluating immediate problems and in enjoying the moments of life.  Might have difficulty adjusting to change because he can’t see it coming.  He might have difficulty recalling what happened past his present time-frame.  Present oriented people could benefit from keeping a journal and a planning calendar.  It helps for them to break future projects into pieces and schedule those pieces so that everything doesn’t dump on them all at once.  Frustrated with future-paced because they talk out of his time-frame of importance.  Has little compassion or understanding of Past Oriented because what is happening now is what matters. While having deep and abiding emotions his expression and internalization of them is right now.  Excellent at moving away from trouble when they are left behind because they no longer matter.  Yesterday’s argument is forgotten.  Today’s events are all important.

Past Absorbed Event Oriented Lesson and Memory Driven It is very difficult for them to see into the future except how it is formed or controlled by their past.  They can either learn from the past or they can be stuck in the past. Holds onto past arguments or struggles, brings them to mind and mentions them frequently. Remembers past good things and wishes those days were still here.  Is slower to see the things of today and recognize that good and bad exist in all times.  Can be frustrated by future and present paced people because they don’t understand how things were so can’t really understand how they are. If a past oriented person is also a feeling person then he needs to guard against a tendency toward feeling depressed, hopeless or unmotivated.  It may be desirous to broaden his focus, helping him to learn from the past rather than to just relive it.  This can be done by working on the attitude and mental discipline, setting goals and including a focus on eternity.  Past Submodality: Ancient Past:  Genealogists, Historians, Writers are among those who can have an Ancient Past focus.  This type of focus is accessed from time to time when desired.  They may become engrossed in any time period through study or reading.  It is very effective in learning lessons from the past, likening our day to another, and seeing consistency and patterns in life.

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