I am the owner of the email list The Noble Child.  While the intention is to discuss anything pertaining to raising children the topic of interest usually centers around the home school. I have been officially home schooling since Fall 1985 when my oldest was five years old.  I’ve tried many different curriculum and non-curriculum methods.  Recently I was asked, again, a question on methodology.

Question
What do you think about child-led unschooling?  I do it, sort of, but I am not completely comfortable with it.

My Response
I'm not the best person to speak on unschooling.  Unschooling started out to mean something different than structured after the public school.  Somebody came up with the term and it stuck.  But it has become an entity all its own and yet it’s meaning isn't really clear to anybody but the person using the word.

I tried unschooling for almost two years and hated it.  The surprising thing is that the children did fine.  They would of course.  I'm convinced that living in a healthy, active, social, reading and resourceful family is enough for most children to learn most things and whatever they don't learn they will have developed the ability and confidence to learn it when they want.  So, unschooling works.  To me, works doesn't mean best.

Note, I didn't say best for the child.  I just said best.  I feel the same way and for the same reasons about child-led education.  Sometimes, though, I think I'm the lone voice in the home schooling community.  I advocate a spirit and mother-led home school.  Because the mother needs it.  The children will learn from mother anyway, that is their stewardship, calling, commandment, role...to learn from mother and then from father.  But the mother...now that is something entirely different.

When she becomes a mother, well, even before that, when she becomes an adult, her home is the training ground for learning how to manage and teach her children.  When the child is taken out of the home for education that training ground is seriously diminished unless it happens because of inspiration on the part of the mother.  When education in the home is child-led rather than mother-led the same loss occurs.

The scriptures are clear that the parents are to teach and the children are to learn.  Child-led and unschooling is backwards from this perspective.  The mother will receive inspiration step by step and sometimes in leaps and bounds as to what and how to teach her child, each child.  The spirit might tell her that an unschooling approach is best at such and such a time or for this subject or for this particular child.  It might even be always right but only if revealed to her.  She has the stewardship to receive that instruction and nobody else.  Of course, the father's role and stewardship enters into the equation, but really, most education in the early years is done by mother and his responsibility in education during those early years is to support her as she discovers what the Lord wants her to do.

As the mother teaches, actively teaches, she grows in ability, in knowledge, and in all those things that will be important in her future as a mother.  She should manage her home first to suit the Lord, second to suit her personal strengths, interests and talents and lastly to suit her children.  That doesn't make children unimportant.  Far from it.  Nobody loves the children as much as the mother.  Nobody is as in-tune to them as she is.  She wants what is best for them with her whole heart and she will discover it.  Not by turning them loose but by teaching, supervising, watching, praying, managing, disciplining and discovering all her resources.  She will do this best by following the pattern Heavenly Father has already established.  The pattern of mothers teaching and children learning.  In the process she will learn from her children, from being their mother.

I get less formal in instruction as I get older. Watching my generation age, watching my mother's generation age, and watching the younger mothers coming up, I'm inclined to believe that relaxing is part of the plan.  I no longer think that relaxing is a mistake because of old-age tiredness but something more divine...maybe a touch of wisdom added to experience.  I also believe that the children who came to me when I was younger and untried knew what they were getting and that God prepared them exactly for a mother in that stage of life.  And the children who have come later needed something different from me.  They certainly have gotten that something different!

I am an optional, flexible, through time, auditory mother.  My strengths allow me to take an outline and fill it in with little effort.  My weakness means that I'd stress beyond belief at a minute by minute curriculum and yet I need some structure or I’d option my day away in play or obsessions such as writing and genealogy.  I manage my children's education, my home, to benefit from my strengths and my experience.

That means that we have group lesson in which I teach, read, lecture and whatever else I believe is best for the entire group.  In our home this includes scripture and doctrine study as well as history and family reading time.  This benefits my children but it also increases my ability as mother-teacher.

We also have private studies.  This portion of our home school day is geared to each child according to their interests, abilities and my inspiration concerning them.  Lastly, we have personal projects which are developed by the child.  One might call this personal projects portion of my children’s learning unschooling Time.

All components of education make up an ideal learning environment in my home.  A touch of each and all are blessed.  Some do better with one, some with another but all get what they need...especially mother.
In the end, the mother will not only know that her children have learned in the circle of her love but that she has magnified her calling through inspiration and action.

So, now you have a long response to unschooling question.  Remember only to be inspired in how you manage your home school and leave the guilt behind.  When you are old and they hug you that last time you will know you have lived and loved and learned more than you ever believed possible.  And you’ve missed nothing of importance.

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