How are you today?  Part of our greeting culture.  The response tends to be a simple, "Fine, how are you doing?"  Sometimes we are not fine.  We have physical and emotional ailments.  We've had a horrendous day.  There are moments when we feel we've had a horrendous year!  But the greeting and the response is part of our group experience.  Once said a person can go on to reveal more or less the reality of the moment.  Not long ago I was asked the opening line.  In responding the greeter wanted to know if everything really was fine after all.  I assured him and we entered into a short conversation on Joy.

Joy is the overall emotion, the binding color of life that can be experienced amid everything from happiness to grief.  It comes from having a long view into something greater than today.  It comes from remembering things gentler and sweeter than the struggle.  It comes from capturing little bits of something priceless when life around you seems to be cold, damp and gray.  It comes clearer when your moments are filled with an orchestra of excitement and wonder.

Having my children has given me an abiding joy.  Raising them even more.  But with the arrival of Ryan into our family I understood joy mixed with relief and delight.  After the silence of my pregnancy with him I could hear angels singing.  I knew joy because I had gone through a struggle even more intense than when I held my firstborn and kissed him goodbye.  I felt joy then, knowing that I would raise my little son after his resurrection.  I felt joy with Ryan knowing that I had faced my darkest sacrifice and had come out triumphant.  And added to that, I was given Ryan to raise now!

These are the principles that have been developed and strengthened through birthing and raising Ryan.  Ryan, my c-section baby, gave me one of the deepest spiritual experiences of my life.  The most spiritual birth because I overcame the greatest fear entirely on faith.  And he brought with him a joy and delight in living that nothing seems to supress.

When I committed, again,  to do all that the Lord required to have Ryan be part of our family, I asked the Lord to allow me to not have confirmed whatever the problems might be.  In essence I limited the Lord's ability to speak to my heart and mind concerning my son until the moment was upon us.

The lesson was deeply embedded upon my spirit that it is far better to allow revelation and receive the strength the Lord offers than to purposely agonize over the unknown and to nearly lose those who are most dear to our hearts because of fear.

He will bring health and cure, even for those who must await the resurrection.  He will give peace and truth to those who listen.  When he reveals to the righteous, he also comforts when they need it.  In that moment of mighty prayer, offering myself to Him as he promised to bless me with a son, I forgot that He would lead me through whatever valley I needed to walk if I allowed him.  I trusted him only so far.  A mistake I hope to never make again.

When the time came for the windows of heaven to open and revelation to pour forth He did turn my mourning into joy.  And what a joy it was!  But I could have had it sooner if I only I had permitted it.  Lesson learned and thankfully not too late.

 When I was in that operating room and facing that which I had feared all my childbearing years, I found the strength to relax and feel the Holy Spirit.  When Neil sat beside me and lent his love to the moment, I felt myself enveloped by that calm that passeth all understanding.  I was nearly convinced that I was about to say good bye to my son before I even said hello.  I was just as fully convinced that because of the chosen opperation my son would live, I hoped.  Allowing that calm to wash over me was a tremendous act of spiritual strength.

My miracle son was born and I knew the angels were present.  I was filled with a deep testimony that with the presence of the Lord's Spirit and the presence of those who love me, seen and unseen.  As those few seconds of silence ticked by I resigned myself to his death.  And then suddenly he cried and I saw him, glorious and I fell into the deepest love imaginable.  Amid the rush of emotion I heard the nurse, holding his tiny cord say that he never could have made it out any other way and the import of the moment was forever impressed upon my heart.  That moment when the Lord revealed that He had spoken and I had obeyed.  And I had my son because of that exchange.  I was able to endure all things and come out of the experience into a joy and light that is greater than could be imagined.

My Ryan is mine, alive and healthy.  My Marshall is mine, alive and awaiting the resurrection.  Each child that has come into our home, is forever ours because the Lord has overcome the world and we are his.

After Ryan's safe arrival I went through a time of great agony.  I kept asking myself,  "What if..."  I would not heed the whispered answer of, "You didn't," and, "You did."  I experienced a tearing of my heart at the contemplation of my son dying because of my lack of faith and courage.

It wasn't until I turned from these dreaded thoughts to acknowledging that the Lord had spoken and I had hearkened that I was fully able to be grateful and full of peace and joy.

There is a promise that the more we hearken to the Lord, the more he can call us to him.  I had done my part and I was blessed beyond measure.  To belittle that with the constant wondering of what-ifs beyond my first initial realization, caused my mind and heart to be caught in the process of being alone and lost.

The Lord had told me to be strong and to fear not and I had.  He wanted me to remember that and draw closer to him as a result.

Ryan exhibited such a total innocence and lack of guile whenever he would apologize after some infraction.  We were often touched to the point of having trouble remembering that there was a need for consequences.  Yes, he returned to the action in a split second but when we called him on it, the 'sorry' was sincere and so matter-of-fact that there was no doubting the intent of his heart at that moment.

Sometimes we think that being like a little child is totally like being innocent and teachable.  I think also it refers to our need to correct course, sometimes to constantly correct course!.  For a child it is learning what the parent teaches.  For us it is repentence and doing as the spirit teaches.  The repentance need not be a heavy burden if we keep up with the process while things are small and long before Satan has a strong hold upon us.

This process of repentance and returning to a childlike innocent state brings the light of the Lord into our lives.  Having children and helping them grow brings the same light.

The Lord wants us to be happy.  He wants us to have fun with our children and with each other.  The Holy Ghost fills a home when the family can play together.  We are imperfect in true play and that causes occasional hurt feelings or hurt bodies but the pull of that delightful spirit of joy brings us back to the play again.

I have noticed that when things get stressful in our day to day life either play and laughter stops entirely or it comes bursting out uncontrollably.  When the rejoicing stops the Spirit may still be present but feels heavier, as if waiting for us to remember the real purposes of life.  When it comes bursting out uncontrollably, we sometimes have difficulty in keeping the reverent times quiet.

When we are consistent in play and quick to rejoice as a family we are able to become balanced between peaceful reverence and exhilarating delight.

The time that a child has with his parents and siblings sometimes feels like it will just go on and on.  Eventually, though, that intense association changes to one less noticeable as the child becomes an adult and then a parent.  There will be things that new parents will do because it is how they were raised.  There will be things they will do because it is even better than how they were raised.  I believe that is how each generation becomes more fully prepared for being comfortable in the Millennial environment.

The Lord has told us that Satan gains control of our children's hearts through the traditions we pass down that are wicked.  The reverse is also true in that the traditions we pass along that stand firm in the path and joy of the Lord will strengthen them.

I want my children to have traditions that help them stand firm before Christ.  I want them to have traditions that bring joy to their hearts.  I want them to have traditions that awaken their minds.

These things are sometimes developed on a grand scale by one or two events a year.  General Conference is only twice a year, Christmas only once and Fast Sunday only twelve times and yet each builds a particular set of traditions in our family.

The traditions we build a smaller scale are even more powerful.  Things like Family Prayer and Family Home Evening that are done consistently.  Things like playing, reading, and laughing together about life, bring an atmosphere of unity and family awareness.