When my children were the ages of 14, 12, 10, 8, 6, 3, 1 and I was pregnant with Chalae, it came time for a trip to the shoe store.  I hate shoe shopping!  I usually manage to either go with Neil or send him with a few at a time.  However, this time I took them all without Neil's help because we were crunched for time.
    I was trying to find a size for Cheyanne, my 18-month-old.  I wanted her to have shoes that didn't need socks and wouldn't give her blisters.  All of the shoes were right within her reach.  Whenever I turned around, she was running off somewhere chasing her brother.
    I sent Ben find a pair of shoes but he always wants them oversized because he doesn't like any kind of snug fit.
    Chani was in Never-Never Land among the shoes.  I don't know why, perhaps something she was reading caused it.
    Chamrie wants things too old, too expensive, and too impractical.  She doesn't want what she can have and in the end she can never decide.  That is when I say, "Decide now or I decide for you."
    Chiya quietly made her choice.  She is the only one who can come into a store and in a split moment find exactly what she wants and within the guidelines we have established.
    Nathan and Ryan needed help and their shoe sizes are on different rows.  I kept calling out to Chani, Ben, Chamrie and Chiya to hold onto Cheyanne's hand, or to hold Ryan's hand.
    My voice echoed in the store and I was grateful that it was empty except my family.  I go to that particular store because there is never anybody there!
    By the time we were finished everybody had one or two pairs of shoes.  I dislike shopping so much that we try to stock up once we are forced into the activity.  I sent everybody out to the car so I could quickly choose something for myself.
    Chani kept coming in and saying that Ryan wouldn't buckle up, Cheyanne didn't want to get into the carseat, Chamrie was being a pill and Ben and Nathan were being noisy.  Chamrie came in because Chani was in.  I sent them out and told them if they would just leave me alone for a moment I would be done.
    I finally managed to get the check written when someone came in and reminded me that they had no matching socks at home.  Oh well, maybe next time.
    We left for vacation that evening and in all of that chaos I found a glimmer of hope.  I decided that since I was pregnant again, it would be Neil's turn to shop when it came time for winter shoes.  Maybe that is why I keep having children; it gives me an automatic and understandable break from shopping insanity!

    Yesterday was trash day.  Trash day is when you put the two small trash cans out by the curb, it gets picked up by this giant truck and you have a clean home again.  Unless you are an outrageously large family.  How many trash cans does that take?  Now multiply whatever number that might be by two and you can imagine what it looks like when we forget a week.  Forget a week?  How can any family with that many trash cans forget a pickup?  To cover our neglect we can always take half the trash cans across the street to the neighbor's curbside.  That way the street would look balanced.  After all, balance is so important in life.

    What happens when your neighbor is less than happy with you or your family?  Some people when they feel threatened, intruded upon or embarrassed get aggressive or defensive.  Hard feelings between neighbors makes life uncomfortable for all concerned.
    It may sound old fashioned.  Nevertheless, you will feel better if you bake something irresistible and take it over or even better send a few children over with the goodies.  Include a note asking for understanding, explain whatever caused the irritation or your feelings about whatever the problem might be.  In as positive a way as possible, write whatever is truthful.
    Perhaps the neighbor will not respond as you desire.  You cannot control your neighbor or her reactions.  Whatever their reaction, your children will know what you have done in trying to bring peace and unity between neighbors.  How you react now should be geared more on what you want to teach your children.
    You don't want to teach them that they should allow others to walk all over them.  You don't want them to acquire the attitude that fault is usually totally somebody else's.  You don't want them to get the impression that having or not having lots of money is good or bad.  There are hundreds of other concepts that you want your children to understand accurately.  Decide what you want your children to learn and act to reinforce that goal.
    If a guest comes to your home and breaks a dish would you require the guest to pay for it?  If they offered would you accept?  Would you be angry for a long time if they didn't offer?
    How are you going to teach your children to react when one of their siblings breaks their toys, or draws on their pictures or pulls the covers off the bed to play hide and seek and the older child has to repair the damage?  Many situations like that come up all of the time.
    We had a neighbor once that came over and asked me to keep my children quiet in the backyard.  Our children had a 7:00 p.m. bedtime which meant that it was very early in the evening when they were running around outside.  They wouldn't play outside during the day because it was summer and miserably hot.  When the day cooled off, they were ready to run, and running meant noise.
    Our neighbor said that after coming home from work he wanted to sit in his backyard and have peace but my children were always making noise right then.  If my children were just conversing, it wouldn't bother him.  However, my children, specifically five-year-old Ben, just made loud noises.
    My children were not fighting.  They just made this constant noise.  There were only five of them with the oldest being seven and the youngest six months and but that seems like a million to a man who has only one small baby.
    I was so upset at first.  What did he think my children were to do?  It wasn't even dark yet, let alone late!  They weren't fighting, it wasn't negative or angry sounds!  It was their own backyard, after all!  My thoughts went on like that several minutes.
    Luckily, I didn't say anything.  Living with Neil, a nonconfrontational peacemaker, has helped temper my temper.  We made a treat and took it over to the wife.  I really wasn't up to seeing the husband at that point.  She was so surprised to see me at her door with the treats.  I told her that I was sorry that my children were noisy but they needed to make some noise when they played.  I wouldn't let them run around like inside, especially with a new baby, so their energy needed releasing outdoors.
    She still looked puzzled and asked for more detail.  I told her what her husband had said and that I was sorry to have stressed him.  She then laughed and said, "He's so weird sometimes, you know he grew up in a large family.  I don't know what gets into him sometimes.  Don't let it bother you."  That was the only uncomfortable event between us.
    When we moved to the next house a similar thing happened with our neighbor across the street so we sent a cake over.  For several years now I get calls from these neighbors because their organization will suddenly have surplus bread.  They bring the surplus over and suddenly we have a whole freezer full of bread and pastries.
    The worse was the neighbor/diaper situation!  We were in a two-story house.  I looked out of the upstairs bathroom to see folded up dirty diapers in their yard.  I intuitively knew Ben was the responsible child.  Ben would open the door, stand in front of the diaper bucket and then throw the diaper across the fence.  Why would he do this?  This is one of the Boy Mysteries that is beyond a mother's comprehension.
    Neil took Ben next door with a treat.  He was supposed to apologize and ask what he could do for them.  The dog had torn a few of the diapers to paper shreds, not pleasant clean up experience for our neighbors.  I had also noticed a diaper on their patio roof under their bathroom window.  This was not a cool situation!
    Ben is extremely shy and didn't want to say anything.  The husband looked down at him and said, "Is this treat for us?"  Ben nodded.  The man then asked, "Do you have something to say?"  Ben nodded but couldn't talk.  Our neighbor asked, "Will you do it again?"  Ben shook his head.  He then made a quick retreat to the safety of our home.
    Now, isn't that a nice ending?  A couple of months later there was a knock on our door.  Mr. Neighbor again.  He held up a folded dirty diaper.  "Is this yours?"  At least the ice had been broken.
    I said, "Yes, and I'm so sorry!"  I closed the door. This time I took Ben who was somewhere between ten and eleven, into the front room.  I actually spanked him!  He got three swats on the rear which is the most I ever do and then only in the gravest of situations.  Then I stopped and we looked at each other for a long silent moment.  I then swatted him three more times.
    That did it, whatever Ben was thinking, that finally broke through to his reality.  Shock of all shocks!  Not only does mother almost never spank but never, ever has there been more then three swats.  Really concerned Ben asked, "Why did you do it again?"
    With total calm and a pure sound of logic I responded, "Because you did it twice.  What do you think will happen if you do it again?"
    In total awe he quietly said, "You'll do it three times."  After that the neighbors never found another diaper in their yard.  Now, I continued to find diapers in weird places such that I began to imagine that they were being used to for bowling.
    When we moved to Utah one of our neighbor's youngest child was the age of our oldest.  That meant that they had survived and grown past the frustrations of young childhood.  I once opened the door to find the woman of that home rather irritated with my sons and demanding to know if my boys understood about private property.  They had been climbing on the fence that divided our yards and it was their fence and they did not want it knocked down!  I barely stammered out my apology when she was gone.
    I looked out my back window to see that the boys' friends were at the house behind our neighbors, touching our yard only at the corner.  Children in both of the yards were climbing the fence to talk to each other.  I gathered in my three sons and discussed, again, the issues of being considerate of other people's property.  Then I took them over to apologize.  She was gone by then.
    They then had to repeat the process with their dad until they caught the family at home.  Some other irritants came up and were dealt with on the spot.  With a dire warning from their dad, in front of the neighbor, of all the work they would do for the other family if the behavior didn't change.
    I do not know if the neighbors like having eight children next door anymore now than before.  However, they do know that as parents we are approachable concerning problems.

    My constant ideal is to have morning start in a very pleasant manner.  I imagine getting children up, dressed, fed, and putting on beautiful music.  I plan on picking up so things look comfortable enough to enjoy the day with a little less stress.  Of course, all of heaven's hosts are smiling at my goals.  I see myself being Mommy and sitting with my angels in a cute little circle each helping the other in some quiet, clean play.  My sweet companion had let me sleep in long enough to feel completely refreshed.  Feeling a little romantic, I am looking forward to an evening when the angels underfoot are tucked away asleep in their own beds.
    Oh, I'm hope somebody out there has a morning like that!  The thought really keeps my spirits up on the crazy days.  Here is an account of one day not so unusual from the rest.  This one happened when I was pregnant with Chalae and at the time chair-bound.
    As always, my dear husband did leave me to sleep as long as I wanted, which was a good thing because I caught his sore throat.  Chamrie has taken my hair brush, curling iron, hair dryer and probably the last clean towel in the home.
    Nathan, now almost seven, was making pancakes.  Cheyanne and Ryan were sitting on the table eating them with their little fingers.   Ben was watching Cheyanne to be sure she wouldn't run off the table, forgetting that a highchair would solve the need for that particular reason for vigilance.
    Neil had slipped out for choir practice.  Chani and Chamrie were having a heated conversation.  Chamrie was declaring that it was Chani's fault that Cheyanne woke up with a messy diaper leaking all over her.  Chani was defending herself by saying that she was in baking cookies when Cheyanne fell asleep.  The pancakes Nathan made have been eaten.  Chamrie is making more but after getting them on the grill she hides away to read.
    Ben sees the burning pancakes.  He just stands there and tells Chamrie that she has deserted the job that she started and he was not going to turn them so they will definitely burn. Chani has disappeared.  Nathan is eating pancakes with his finger soaking in water.  Apparently he burned it enough for water but not enough to cry.  Cheyanne has found and is eating straight butter.  She is in heaven.
    Ryan, almost four, is eating pancakes while reading a book I have owned since I was eight-years-old and has just dropped syrupy pancake on a page. Neil came in, put his hands on my shoulders to see how I am doing and then noticed that the pancake had dropped onto the book.  He then informs Ryan of the age-old rule of no books at the table.
   We have just decided that nobody in this house is healthy enough to go to church today.  Chamrie put our 18-month-old Cheyanne into a dress made for a 9-month-old.  It is cute, flimsy, too small, too cold and all because Cheyanne wanted it.  I keep trying to take some of those clothes and get them into the box for the next girl but before I do they get dirty and have to be washed and then get put someplace other than in the box.
    At least it is very quiet here as all of this activity has been done in comparatively low volume.

    Being down in a pregnancy is something I am used to.  It is never something that is easy.  The worst time of day is always the late afternoon.  This is when my body most needs its rest and if I ignore that need then contractions start.  This is also the time of day that children of all ages want the most attention and find different ways of letting that desire known.  Here is one account of a not so unusual late afternoon.
    I went up to sleep this afternoon but Ben, Nathan and Ryan were not happy with each other.  They were arguing loud enough that their mother should have come to reinforce the family rules.  I lay in bed and kept commanding myself by saying, "I'm not getting up.  I need to stay down.  I'm not losing this baby over bickering."  I managed to obey myself once again.
    When I did get up, the boys had just finished dinner so I sent Ben and Nathan to bed.  I told them that if they were still awake when Neil got home they could discuss staying up with him.  The wait-until-your-dad-gets-home technique is a necessity at times when we are protecting unborn babies.  By the time Neil walked in they were both asleep.
    Chani and Chamrie had a small tiff but it passed very quickly.  Chamrie was carrying Cheyanne down the hall and scooted past Chiya who was putting a night diaper on Ryan.  In doing so she bumped the back of her sister's head so Chiya got one of her terrible headaches.  Luckily Neil came home right after that and adjusted her.
    We had prayer and both Chiya and Ryan went to bed.  Chani had already left for a slumber party and we vanquished Chamrie to the kitchen for cleanup.  So it was just Neil and I and a very active Cheyanne.  Cheyanne didn't go to sleep until 11:30 tonight.  Soon she will be bedtime age and we can hardly wait!
    My peaceful home became peaceful again.  I remember that I have to get some kind of weekly menu plan together for Chani.  Sandwiches in the summer are great but they need something warmer in the winter.  Neil did complain about tonight's meal but only a little and only to the room in general.  He said he keeps buying yams and everybody eats them before he can get to them himself.  This is my fault as the other day I had Chani make yams on a night when Neil wouldn't be home to eat them.  That was poor planning on my part.  He doesn't ask for much, just potatoes and vegetables and occasionally those wonderful, dark red yams.

One Moment in Time

    Another moment in Logan History.  Ryan is asleep on the floor.  Chani is at a Young Women's meeting doing something neat.   Chamrie, Cheyanne and Nathan are upstairs in the bath.  Ben is finding reasons to not do the dishes.  Chiya is in bed with a headache.  Nathan is crying in the bathroom because Chamrie is trying to wash his hair in a way he doesn't want.
    Raffi is singing "Day-oh" on the television. I like Raffi and love Day-oh.  "Day light come and me wanna go home."  I have this thing about accents. Who cares if they are good actors or not provided they speak beautifully?
    Nathan just hollered the most common phrase around here, "Someone get me a diaper."  As if every single older child doesn't know that when a diaper comes off another is supposed to go on.  Why don't they take it up with them?  My little nudie is running around with wet hair and a doll and trying to get away from the towel.  Ben is running all the diaper errands and chasing Cheyanne.  This means he now has a valid excuse for not doing the dishes.  Now my nudie is sitting on the couch and Raffi is singing a song in Spanish.  I love that song, too.
    Neil is still not home but it is only 7:30 p.m.  Chani is only seventeen test points away from graduating from high school and she just turned fourteen. She has passed up all the required high school scores in every category except these seventeen points in math.  Ben doubled his test scores in the past six months so he's developing very quickly now. Chamrie had the top scores for her age group.  She is well into high school level work and she is only eleven years old.  Raffi is now singing, "Will I ever grow up?"  I wonder about that quite a bit.  I don't feel much different inside myself now as I have felt all these years but the calendar tells me that I really am older.
    Now he's singing a very big favorite, "Everything grows."  We got into Raffi when I had a neighbor with two little children and she introduced us to this singer.  He is supposed to be a children's singer but he has great style and such a pleasant voice that I never tire of listening to him.  Children are clean and I need to have prayer and scripture study with them but we're all listening to Raffi instead.

Teaching My Children to be Parents

    I was once criticized because I emphasize the importance of my children learning how to be parents.  As I teach my children it is with an understanding that someday they will be raising their own children.  True, some may have to wait to become parents, but it will happen to all those who chose an eternal companion.  The lady criticized me did so because I had mentioned that Chani wanted to be a stay-at-home mother and that I thought it was an excellent goal.
   I have no problem with Chani wanting to do something else besides being a mother.  There have been times she has talked about being a veterinarian or some other type of career.  Chamrie has talked about being a hair stylist among other things.  I believe that any skill and knowledge that a person obtains if it is in keeping with the Lord's commandments is a good thing.
    I do believe that emphasizing the acquisition of a career is just as damaging as others think emphasizing staying at home to raise children happens to be.  In fact, I think it is much, much more harmful.
    I believe that the word career is overrated.  Most people out there have jobs to get by with only so they can support their families in the best way possible.  I believe that for most people, their true career is raising their family, developing their personal relationships and growing within themselves.  The paying job is not the all and everything of self esteem and life.
    It has been suggested that for somebody with my intelligence and ability to bury myself at home and not benefit society should be against some kind of intelligence or self image.  There is enough voice in society to influence for my daughters and sons in the opposite view of things.  It would sound completely false coming from me if I were to emphasize career and financial stability before family life.
    Instead, we speak about the kind of companion to look for, the kind of relationships to work for, the problems and joys of working for and with a family, the spiritual things, and the emotional challenges of living.  Challenges will resolve provided we can keep our hearts and minds focused on what is most important.
    Ben once said that he only wanted two children because then he could take them out to dinner every night.  Neil and I suggested that he get a babysitter and take his wife out to dinner instead and he decided that was a good plan.  The following year during his birthday night out with us he had a different observation to make.  In his words, "I think having more than twenty children would be too much for my wife."  We laughed, life had changed for Ben from two children and thinking about food to twenty and thinking about all the care involved.
    Neil and I teach them to look for inspiration in these eternal matters.  For example concerning the number of children the Lord wants them to have.  He inspires some people to have small families and some to have larger ones but it is important to not make that all important decision based on current society's thinking.  All we can do is teach our children what we feel will be for their very best and they will go from there with the things they decide to keep and reject.

Older Child and the New Baby

    New mothers of one child often ask me when a new baby should be brought into the family, and what about the current baby, won't that baby be overcome with jealousy?  I find that when thinking about having a new baby, a parent forgets that it takes nine months for the baby to arrive and that the older child will change tremendously in that same period.  The toddler that is so dependent upon his mother now will not be the same emotionally as he will be in nearly a year.
    Then once the new baby does arrive that baby isn't much of a real person to the older child.  He will like to look at the baby, and to hold her for a few minutes.  Mostly the little baby will just nurse and sleep.  If a mother carries the baby in a sling or front pack then she seems even more an extension of the mother and not a separate person.  The older child is rarely bothered by the baby at all except the fact that the older one will have to learn the art of waiting for things.
    When the baby begins to crawl around, the baby begins to be a real person to the older child.  By the time the baby is walking then reality of a sibling is set.  However, by then the older child has had months to get used to the baby.  The development of the baby happens gradually and so does the relationship with the sibling.  It is a very healthy process.
    There are so 'specialists' out there who spout a philosophy of not having children closer then five years because it is too hard on the older child.  I believe that much of the jealousy issue stem from the parents' attitudes.  If they expect it and fear it, it is overly emphasized and then internalized by the children.
    I really enjoy a two-year spacing.  That is how most of our children have arrived and it is perfect for the way our family functions.  I have seen this sibling pattern occur repeatedly with all of my children.  Perhaps it should be a requirement for 'specialists' to have at least four children of their own before they hang out their plaque.

    The great reward of enduring the frustrations of family life comes as our children mature.  They begin to understand in their hearts and minds the things they enjoy about their family.  They begin to form an idea of what they would do the same and what they would do differently when they have become parents.
    Our hope is that our children will hold onto those things that will bring them and their children to the Celestial Kingdom.  Our fear is that they will reject those things that the Lord has inspired us to do, those things that took a great deal of patience, sacrifice and courage to accomplish.  Another great thrill comes when we realize that our children have learned how to express themselves and can converse with us about the things they want to do differently in a way that is delightfully mature and tender.
    We have tried to teach our children that while some things we do are commanded and suggested by the Lord so that our family can be together forever, there are other things that are unique for our family.  Those unique things can be altered by each family, by each child and will not interfere with our being together in Eternity.  This is one of the most important lessons and concepts for our children to learn.
    Here are the current thoughts from the minds and hearts of our children when asked about their childhood family and the family they will build when they are adults.

    I enjoy being in a big family.  There are lots of things to do in a big family.  There are lots of people to help with the work.  You can relate to people of all ages.  Every new child adds something to the family.  You get used to the family structure and another child comes along and adds a shining spirit and the family feels more complete than it was before.
    When you are trying to be alone there is no place to go.  Except for the bathroom you can't find a place to be alone.  Somebody is always coming or going.  Even the bathroom needs to be used by somebody.
    There is always something to laugh at such as a cute baby or a ditsy teen that makes life enjoyable.
    Things I would repeat in my family would be having the children have jobs that they can rotate through.  I don't want to have to do everything in my family.  I want my boys to cook and clean as much as my girls.  I would also have my sons in one room and my daughters in another bedroom but I would like them to have their private area within those group rooms.
    What I am looking for in a companion: I look for a guy with a very strong testimony who honors his priesthood.  That means that he keeps his covenants and does the best he possibly can.  I want a husband who wants to home school his children and has the same social and political views that I do.  I want him to be able to laugh at himself.  I want him to have a nonviolent personality.  I want him to have a strong moral standing with the Lord.  I think it would be good if he was a talker because I am a mix of a feeler and a talker.  I want him to be able to clean and cook and help as needed.  If I am in a situation like my mother's where I cannot have children without his help I want him to be willing and able to give it.
    In normal living I like it that there is no way to keep a secret in this family.  Somebody always knows something.  There is no way to do wrong things without somebody finding out.  I like that safety net for all of us.  I like the Spirit in our home.  It feels like a home where everybody loves and respects and has fun with each other.  There are clashes and we can get on each other's nerves but we are best friends.
    When I miss church I feel incomplete.  Sunday is the beginning and ending of my week.  To miss it because of illness throws off my mental calendar.  All of us have a strong testimony or are developing one.  I don't know how children could go to bed without routine.  I like our family scripture studies in morning and night because it gives a sense of beginning and ending.
    I enjoy babysitting for my family when all the children are in bed because I get time by myself.  It is hard because they know that I am not Mom.  When they do something that is really annoying, by the time my parents get home and I tell them it is not a big deal anymore.  I think the eternal lesson in that is to forgive and forget, that things are not as big a deal when you look back as they are in the moment.
    I agree with my parents that the Lord has put into their hands the education of the children.  I like the college they have chosen for me at this point in my life.  When it is time for me to be independent in my education then I will continue to learn because knowledge is very important.  There are so many things that I want to do and know about that I can't possibly stop learning.
    I do not want to be a working mother.  If the Lord instructed me to do it I would but I would try to work in the evenings so I could be with my children in the day.  (Chani is now 20.  When asked what she wants to do with her life she declares, "My mother is my hero.  I want to be like her and have children, raise and teach them at home."  Everybody should have such wonderful validation!)

Ben, when age 14:

    What I like about being in a big family is that you are not bored.  There are always people to play with.  When you go someplace we have buddies so that nobody could get lost.  You also have more friends of different ages.
    What I don't like about being in a big family is that there is always somebody to fight with.  We have lots of dishes and tons of laundry to do.  Our house is always messy because we are always playing so things don't stay clean very long.
    I like sharing a bedroom because then you don't have to clean up all by yourself.  Of course, if I had the room to myself it wouldn't get so messy.
    What I want to do the same with my own family: Have scripture study and go to church together.  I would take my family out for fun.
    I think it is good that I am learning how to cook and clean because when I go on my mission I will be able to cook good food, more than just pancakes.
    I liked going to scout camp with Dad.  He helped me write which is very hard for me.  I like to pass the sacrament.  I like to go to mutual.  I like going on the camp-outs.
    I don't know what I want a wife to be like, probably like Mom.  I want to home school my children.  I like home school because you can play more in your childhood.  You learn and when you are finished you can play.
    We have scripture study together and that causes us to learn about the gospel.  When I go to class in church, I know what the teacher is talking about and I can help teach.
    I don't like being in charge of the babies because it is a lot of work.  Sometimes you can't even get your job done because the baby takes so much time.  It does help me so that I could be a good father.  It teaches me how to hold them, change diapers, teach them.
    I want at least six children.  If the Lord wants me to have more, that is ok.  I'll do what the Lord says but I want six right now.
    I want to do work at my own business.  I want to help people and be able to support my family.

Chamrie, when age 12:

    What I like about my big family is that I don't have to do all the work.  There are people to split the chores up.  I like that there are children younger than me that I can help take care of.  I especially like taking care of Chalae and Cheyanne.  Cheyanne has always been special to me.
    My frustrations in the family are lots!  First, I don't like sharing my bedroom with three other girls.  The room is too small and it is very crowded.
    Another frustration is that I don't get much time to talk with my friends because there is always a brother who comes up and wants to know what we are doing.  I don't get much time alone because there is always somebody who wants my attention.  I like to be alone sometimes and there is no place to go.
    Another frustration is that I want a bigger house.  I want a cat.
    Things I would repeat in my family are the way jobs are divided among the children.  I would have my children share rooms but when they are about twelve I would have them in a room by themselves or with one other person that they get along with.  No matter what type of schooling I give them, being together as a family and being raised in the church will be the main issue.
    Things I would do differently would be to teach my children at a young age to pick up after themselves, to clear their places at the dinner table and to be really considerate of their brothers' and sisters' things and to not mess them up.  My children will be in sports, not only in the church but community sports like swimming and gymnastics.  I would let them pick a musical instrument to play but not let them keep jumping around from one instrument to another.
    I would probably home school my children until maybe age seven.  I will decide based upon the individual child as to when they start private school.  I wouldn't want my children to attend public school at the grade school level but I might consider it at the high school level depending upon the school and the child.
    What I would like in a companion is for him to like to laugh, to talk, who is fun to be around.  I want for his family to be important to him, for children to be important.  I like him to be considerate of my feelings and his children's feelings.  I want him to spend time with his children, to let them know they could talk to him when they need to.  I want them to have a closeness with their dad.  I want him to have a closeness with them.  I want him to have a job that will keep him around his family.  I want somebody who will go with me to the temple and is committed to returning to the temple often.  I want a husband that likes to talk to me.

Chiya, when age 10:

    What I like about my big family is that there is always somebody to play with and you don't have to be bored.  I like because it is like a group, there are always enough players to make games fun.  I like group games rather than small games.  There are people of all ages so I have learned to play with lots of different types of children.
    I get frustrated because there is barely any quiet time except for sleeping or when everybody else is gone.  When I want to play by myself I go to a room and start playing and then people come in and I have to move or get mad and go do something else.  Jobs frustrated me because it is always messy because there is always somebody to mess up my area.  When I make dinner I have to make lots of food.  The van is always messy because there are so many of us.  I like things organized.  Once, we cleaned our rooms all nice and organized.  We kept it clean for a week but the second week we started leaving things out and by the end of the second week it was messy again.
    If we had a bigger room, it wouldn't be as messy.  I would like my children to be two per bedroom.  I want those bedrooms to be big.  I want twelve children, six boys and six girls and six bedrooms.  I want six older children and six younger children.  I want an older child to be paired up with a younger child.  Sharing a room really helps when I get scared at night.
    Another idea would be to have a small bedroom for the boys and a small one for the girls where all they do is sleep.  They would then each have another small room for their personal stuff.
    I thought of a really good way of cleaning up, of course, it is probably impossible.  What if all through the home there is a little opening in the wall with a small escalator that goes all around the house.  When you find something that doesn't belong in the room you put it on the escalator.  Then you stand at the wall and wait till the things that belong in that room comes around for you to pick up and put away.  That way you don't have to walk around and put things away.
    I always had this idea of having my children follow the rules.  Especially that they not hit each other.  I would keep the scriptures as the example and show them that everything they do is connected to the scriptures and to God.
    In a companion I would like him to be sweet, gentle and somebody who likes children.  I would like him to think the same way I do as far as liking things organized.  I want him to be fun and talkative.  I want him to be like my Dad.
    Today in church we had this chart that you put hearts on when you have memorized the articles of faith.  I am the only one who has it filled.  My teacher assigned the students to remember the articles and she asked me to try to not be so smart.  I told her that I wasn't so smart but that we memorized it as a family.  Today in sacrament meeting the speakers mentioned three scriptures that we have already memorized as a family.
    I really like to shock people.  I like to surprise people with things that I have learned in my family, with the things we do like home schooling.  Once a girl asked me what grade I was in and I didn't know.  She kept asking and I kept saying I didn't know.  Finally I felt like telling her, "Get the point! I don't have a grade!"  But I didn't want to be rude.
    When I have my own family, the things I would do the same would be memorizing scriptures, family time although I might have a different family time routine.  I would home school because I could do just as well teaching them at home as anybody else could do.  I feel that my friends have too much time involved boring schooling.  I would like my children to learn math through songs.  I would have my sons and daughters have the same jobs.  I would rather that my children alternate jobs daily rather than monthly or weekly.  It depends on how many children I have.  I would have no work at all on Sunday.  The dishes would wait until Monday.  I would like cooking to be a family activity rather than a single person's job.  I would teach them really young to pick up after themselves and to sweep up after themselves.  Somebody would be assigned to help the baby and they would have school jobs.  I would rather assign them at the moment rather than give them long term assignments.
    I want my children to be able to do sports and to do music things.  I am going to have pets for my children.  I want a tiny room attached to the house where the children can go in and be with their pets.  I want my house to be in the country with a big backyard with trees and a hill for them to play on.  I want a fenced area for the little children to play separate from the big children.  I think it would be great to have a lake and a bridge in my backyard but I don't want the little children to drown.

Nathan, when age eight:

    What I like about my big family is that you have a lot of brothers and sisters to play with.  When they are young, you can blame them for things you have done.  There are children to wrestle with, they can help me catch grasshoppers and bugs.  At night it is good to have somebody in the room with me because I can wake them up and have them walk with me in the dark when I go to see mom and dad.
    What frustrates me about a big family is that we get into fights.  Sometimes when I am cleaning our bedroom and I ask my brothers to help they whine.
    I like to clean the bathrooms because it is easy.  I hate deep cleaning the kitchen.  I love to cook.  I like to make things that people like to eat.  It's just fun to bake treats and make dinner, unless there is something else you want to do instead.
    What I would repeat in my family is going to church, scripture study and family time.  I would take them to more fun places like Disneyland and parks than we do now.  I want to have a job that gives me a lot of time with my children.
    I would let my children have pets.  They would have three cats and two dogs.  I would train the cats to just sit down when the dogs want to chase them.  I want chickens so we can have eggs instead of buying them.  I want to do ceramics as a hobby.
    I want to own my business because then I will be the boss.  I wouldn't be ordered around by other people.
    I want at least five children, maybe ten, yes, I want ten children.  I would have them share bedrooms.  I would teach them how to do their jobs when they are about, maybe, four-years-old.
    My favorite thing to do with my family is Family Time and scripture study.

Ryan, when age five:

    What I like about my big family is that I like to play with my brothers and sisters.  I when I am eight I want to go to cub scouts and get baptized.  My favorite thing to do with my family is to just play.  I like to play by myself.  I like to play at a friend's house.
    I get frustrated when I get hit.  I cry and then I tell Mom what happened.  Then they get in trouble.  I don't get hit very much though.
    I like to go to primary and to my class.  I like learning to read.
   My dad is a doctor, an adjusting doctor.  He fixes headaches.  Once he played with me and my friends.  We had a good time.  He is very smart.  He knows the gospel, he knows the scriptures, and he likes people.
   My mom writes stuff and she is really pretty.  She is really good on the computer.
   I remember going to the fair and riding in the bumper cars.

Cheyanne, when age three:

    My dad's name is Neil.  I like to play with him.  Ryan keeps on teasing me.  I like to go to my friend's house.  I like going over to KittySue's house.  I like Cheerios and I like pickle sandwiches and meat sandwiches.  My sisters sleep with me in my room.  I like to go to sleep with them and wake up and have them in my room.  When I cry, they get me a drink of water.  We wear church clothes and go to church.  In nursery we have treat and play.  Mommy is my teacher in my nursery.  At night we have scripture study, prayer and go to sleep.  I like my mom.

    I once read that children need both a mother and a father because they play differently with the children.  The article said that fathers play rough, noisy, active with the children.  They play ball, they play hide and seek, they play wrestle dad to the floor.  They tease and bring activity and laughter to the home.  At least until the first person gets hurt and then it is comfort time.
    Concerning the way mothers play with their children the article said that she gives the quieter tones.  She is more likely to sit and read with the children, to sit and cuddle with them, to have conversations and to more easily have a one on one relationship with the children.
    The article talked about how important both styles are to a healthy development of the children.  Certainly that is a fair description of how we are more likely to interact with our children.
    Much of our quiet time together is learning time.  Scripture study tends to be quiet.  When Neil reads scriptures, it does get noisier, especially when he plays the fill in the blank game.  Group lesson in school is usually a quiet time.
    We watch television together as a family.  We hope that is quiet time but it really isn't.  The television is on nearly full blast so that some can hear the show above the laughter and play of the babies and their accomplices.
    I have quiet time with the children where I cuddle with them or find a way to have some of that cherished one on one conversation.  From time to time Neil has tried to keep up the suggestion of having Father's Interviews so that he could have that same one on one quiet time with a child.  Because of Sunday church responsibilities and the quantity of children, we have tried having only the helper have that interview.  It has worked in the past and will work again in the future but has not yet become a consistent tradition.  Together Neil and I will try to take the helper out once a week so that we have time alone with that child.  That has been a consistent tradition but one that does get put aside from time to time because of various struggles with time and finances.
    My favorite quiet time with my children has been reading to them.  At first I would read to them during the group lesson school time.  Now I will read a little of the current book after scripture study or anytime during the day when we can be together for a few quiet minutes.  Neil joins us whenever he can and even the little ones like to be in the room and quiet.  During this time I read the older books as I read the younger stories as moments arise during the day.
    We have also discovered the joy of books on tapes for when we are in the car.  I look for classics that are unabridged.  They are excellent.  I also have a series of tapes that give the music and the life story of the great composers.  We also look for LDS talks and focus mostly upon Youth Speakers and a few favorite adult speakers such as Cleon Skousen.  We have books by LDS authors on tape that we enjoy.  There are only two things that I dislike about these tapes.  The first is that it is not a complete rendition but an abridgment.  The second is that you never know till you start listening if the speaker is a voice you can tolerate for several hours.
    Movies have become a shared experience in our society.  Television and movies bind us together in common experience.  We are careful about what we watch, and careful about what our children watch.  They are aware that we use thought in the selection and viewing of movies.  I believe that our strictness, which is less strict than other families and more than most, lends another level of the atmosphere of unity.  When we do watch something together, it isn't just happenstance.
    As much fun as movies are and as thoroughly entertaining they are to the senses I still love most the sharing of wonderful books with my children.  I have seen them develop into readers who love a variety of books.  This has also opened the door of imagination for my children who are still struggling with the written word.  Their intellect is ready for the story even though their ability to read is not up to speed.  It is well worth delaying bedtime for time spent in family reading.

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