I hate two parter television shows. How dare they do a two parter! I would much rather simply watch a 2 hour special episode. What happens if we miss the next episode?

I don't like the fact that this is a home schooling family and we can never, ever find pens and pencils. Really, I think there's a conspiracy underfoot... I offer 1 jelly bean for each pen or pencil found and then, boy do they show up quick. Talk about self-defeating behavior!

Something else I hate is when the TV guide is here on Thursday, and Friday but when you need it on Saturday, the day the magazine REALLY begins... ITS GONE!

Something else that is a major hate for me is getting into MY van and finding that Neil has magically managed to drive on EMPTY! I am convinced a man must get some insane thrill in seeing how close to sputtering he can drive the car without coming to a dead stop.

Something else that is a big irritant is having my hair brush gone!!! Really, I KNOW I only brush my hair in my bathroom, so how'd it disappear?

Or how about pulling the ice trays out of the freezer and finding them empty? Or Why...WHY can nobody except MOM put the toilet paper on the roll?

Of course the biggest frustration comes with the great line "Kneel down, don't move, fold your arms and BE QUIET SO WE CAN HAVE FAMILY PRAYER!!!!" and then wondering if such a noisy prayer is even heard.

I also can't figure out why underwear, shirts, toys and everything else end up on the stairs instead of the room or the laundry basket.

I also hate when I see the children step on things and keep right on walking as if the thing was the normal carpet instead of something to be put away.

I also hate to find empty bread sacks on the counter, after all, the trash can is inches away. Also...cold toast left in the toaster because SOMEBODY wanted some at one point in the day and forgot...but of course...it really was NOBODY.

How about the plate of something stuck in the refrigerator on top of everything else. Or better yet, the glasses of water put there for later!

I really hate having to say a million times a week "NO!!! You can't have that. It is TRASH! We don't SAVE trash!!!!"

How about the hand-washed dishes still being dirty. And having to tell every visitor who attempts to pull something clean from the cupboard, "Be sure to check it as children wash here."

I hate the How To Be A Wonderful Mother suggestions that involve creative arts. There is no way I can give into that creative impulse with 9 children all wanting to do the same thing. I just decided that if they wanted to be creative it will have to come at a different time of their lives...like away from home!!!

Speaking of Creative Art at home...who do I sue for the invention of play-dough?

How about the famous "Can't we do it during COMMERCIALS?" question. In reality, they prefer the commercials to the actual show! Give in to that one and the battle is almost always lost.

Gum. I really dislike gum. I don't like the way a face looks when it is endlessly chewing it and I certainly don't like trying to get it off stuff when the mouth is tired of the chewing. I don't allow them to chew gum in my home, car or presence. But I make it perfectly clear that they can chew it when they are else where.

Flies. I hate flies. Moving to Utah I have discovered a few more seasons than we had in San Diego. San Diego had: Morning Foggy (three weeks in June), Santa Anna (Super Hot three to six weeks in August/September), Rainy (sometime after January for about three weeks), Spoiled Perfect (the rest of the time) and of course, Christmas.

In Utah the seasons seem to have multiplied beyond containment: Summer, REALLY summer, Fall, Halloween, First Snow, REAL SNOW, Christmas, Winter, Spring, Canning, and the worst, most horrid, most disgusting, most telestial season of all: Fly Season. And I refuse to even think about the sports seasons!

With so much to hate surely I must love something. Thinking. Thinking some more. Yep. I LOVE life as a mother of so many children!

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